Intergalactic Beasties, Planetary People
by TallestCora
Summary: The Dib and Tak adventures continue! Some sort of meddling, interplanetary force decides to stick the Irken leaders, Resisty, Dib and some Swollen Eyeball members on the same hostile planet near the center of the Milky Way Galaxy. Yeah, right! As if they won't get mad! Let's just see how long it takes until they get their revenge! -That is, if they don't kill each other, first.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Freakazoid's Heiney, and I also don't own Invader Zim! ...Which is ironic, since Freakazoid and I are a lot a like... Okay, Scary-time over! IT'S BAAAACK! TO THE STOOORRYYY! *Large, "Back to the Future"-style credits show up and she zooms off!* On another note...  
"Intergalactic" by the Beastie Boys was the inspiration for the title. Mmm-yep~! *Laughs* Because it's just so cool and funny a song~! Like, one of those old science-fiction movies!

AUTHOR'S NOTES:The Adventures continue~!

(Story order so far: "Lepidoptera and Arachnidia" - "PSYCH-OUT!" - "Chrysanthemum" - "Hurting for a Very Hurtful Pain" - "Intergalactic Beasties, Planetary People")

If anyone can guess the meaning to the first chapter's title, then mister...you need to quit peeking into my head! *Screams and grabs head* But, if you guessed it was from Freakazoid!, then you're right! It is! *Really cheesy grin.*

* * *

**Intergalactic Beasties, Planetary People**

* * *

Chapter 1: "Don't Say I Didn't Warn You Not to Ever Date a Monster!"

* * *

Opening one's eyes, the first thing one could see was trees. Green all-encompassing, but mixed with several other colors; the mixture was frighteningly alien. The next thing one noticed was the pale blue sky, seemingly so thin; with small white clouds, and streaks of dark gray in it. The sounds were present immediately, but none were loud enough to jar one awake. The person would lay there, undisturbed, until either they felt like getting up, or something got their attention. In many ways, it was both.

In this case, with this certain individual, it was the smells, sounds, and sights which intrigued it to get up.

"..." Pushing up glasses only to find they were firmly stationed on its face, Dib, the being in question, stared around with impossible silence at the amazing sights before him. A being pushed things aside in a strange sort of rustle behind him.

"I believe that's called, 'Improbable Amazement'. Huh. I never thought you could _do_ that," responded the person behind him to his silent gaping. Dib turned around and saw what looked like a Vortian -he'd become somewhat familiar with Vortians recently- only this one seemed older, even ancient. It was a pinkish-color, and had long tapering head-things which were gathered into a weird little "pouf" at the ends, that which looked like a cross between a shower-cap and a decorative hand-bag. He decided that with its more delicate styles in clothes and long head-things, it must be a female of the species; but only in as much as it reminded him of human women.

"Wh-who are you? What do you want?! How do you know me?!" He asked almost simultaneously.

"Woah, woah, woah!" The being held up its hands as if in defense. But it held an air of authority, like it had dealt with children before. "I'm Lasch-mik, Lard-nar's _mother_. Psh, that boy's always getting into trouble! Except that _he_ usually calls us, that's unlike his ungrateful little brother! Always getting into trouble, that kid, but at least _he's_ not starting revolutions! Oh, I'm sorry, am I talking too much? I always do that," she appeared a bit concerned and looked at him.

Dib didn't know whether to be on his guard or to believe this strange person, but she seemed to behave ...like a mother. Or, at least, what he had read, heard about, or seen on T.V. about them. He couldn't really remember his. Blinking, now in a half-crouch and ready to spring if necessary, he asked, "Lard-nar's _mother_? Why would he tell you about me?"

Smiling humorously and holding a hand up to her mouth, she said, "Oh, come on! With a head THAT BIG? Anybody's going to notice! Especially a scientist like my boy! He called me up, babbling about how there was this little alien boy with a mysteriously large head -he said it was strange, because measurements showed it wasn't really as large as it seems, oh, and," she was gesturing, now waving a hand nonchalantly, "He might've mentioned you fighting an Irken on your home planet or something...and how you wanted to join the Resisty's fight against Operation Impending Doom II, you know, the usual... anyways," she seemed about to continue talking, but had paused, either to catch her breath or to organize her thoughts.

Dib tried to take in what she'd just said -an alien leader of a resistance against the Irken Empire was telling his mother about _his_ big head- but he didn't quite have time to process the entire thing, because...

A giant "BOOM!" along with gray clouds of dust sounded in the distance. Dib turned around to stare at the commotion behind him; Lasch-mik seemed shocked, and had jumped a bit, shielding her eyes as she stared. They both felt dumb-struck, but soon they felt the impending need to run -and so they did. In the exact opposite direction.

Dib and Lasch-mik ran through the great jungle, though the area they were in was rather clear of trees. They jumped over fallen logs and tried their hardest to shimmy up a tree at one point, only to find out that that moss was _not_ useful for climbing, just slippery. As they ran, losing track of their initial position, terrified of the large and calamitous sounds and clouds of dust which followed the initial "BOOM!", Dib was consistently hit with various things, whilest Lasch-mik seemed to escape unscathed.

At one point, Dib even heard her say, "I wish Lard-nar was here!" But he had no time to contemplate it; that is, until he ran face-first into a wall. A large tree, that was. But still...

"Diib!" Exclaimed Lasch-mik, then she grabbed his dazed body and pulled them in behind a red bush. It was a very nice red bush. Complete with little cups like daffodil-shaped tea-cups and saucers! But that will be considered another time.

"Ow...what'd I hit?" He asked as he rubbed his forehead.

"A tree," said Lasch-mik.

"What, was it IRON-WOOD?!" He exclaimed incredulously. He couldn't believe anyTHING could be that hard. It had reminded him of Gaz's boot. Except that it wasn't quite as hard as that. And she liked to use her Weasel-Stomping Day boots -the ones with spikes.

"Relax," she said somewhat soothingly. "It didn't break the tree," she smirked at the grumpy look he gave her.

He'd gotten used to people referring to the size of his head; but now saying it was a dangerous object? "Hah, hah, very funny..." he said sarcastically.

"Oh, don't be like that," she said in a typical motherly reprimand, "In any case, it looks like the crashing has stopped -" There was a large, defiant crash just at that moment, as if to insist that it didn't stop for anyone.

"Oh, crud," She said in quite the understatement, because the crash sounded so nearby, it bounced them into the air and made the rocks behind them crack. The dark shadow loomed over them, and it looked as if they would be swallowed up by the dust clouds.

"Let's get out of here~!" Yelled Dib as he grabbed her and dove away from it. The two of them ran on again for what seemed like ages; though in actuality it wasn't that long.

Finally they came to a large wall. "Well, it looks like we're not going any further!" Said Lasch-mik.

"What is THIS?!" Exclaimed Dib. "It looks like a metal wall or something!" The large, gray-ish thing loomed up, covered in different places with small bits of vegetation; the entire thing looked both like sheer rock and metal. Like a man-made climbing wall or something.

"It's a phi-ite rock mixed with pho-ite. Huh! Never thought I'd see that. Well, it's theoretically a metal-like rock. Or is a rock-like metal? In any case, we aren't climbing up it," replied Lasch-mik.

"Phi-ite? Pho-ite? What kind of-" he was about to ask what kind of rocks/minerals those were, but the crashing and dust-clouds were getting louder. "Wha! We need to get out of here! Quickly, where can we go?"

Thinking as she rubbed her chin with a finger, Lasch-mik then said, "I don't think we need to go anywhere!"

"WHAT!?" Exclaimed Dib in shock.

"LOOK!" She said, suddenly shouting to get his attention. He seemed to look surprised at this, so she continued, "When it comes at us, we'll run straight for it! Then we can duck out of the way and get behind it. Hopefully..." she muttered the last part quietly, making Dib wonder if it would be a good idea. But there wasn't much time to decide on that, so they went with the plan.

The loud crash sounded so loud it almost shook them off their feet; but just as it got close, they both charged forward, Dib smacking into a large leg of some kind, but recoving quickly, and soon they were behind it. It looked like a some-what big lizard. But that's not what shocked them.

"It's not even that _big_!" Exclaimed Dib. He felt cheated by the lack of real imposing monstrosity. It was only a couple of stories high; not even much to write home about. Or boast to his sister about.

"That's not the problem!" Exclaimed Lasch-mik, pointing ahead of them. There were several crashing dust-clouds, all headed straight for them. They both screamed: then ran ahead, skirting around the large, imposing dust-clouds.

* * *

After an interminable length of time, they arrived at a clearing, huffing and puffing; clearly tired out. Dib had been impressed at how well that old lady could run; but the impending death made it impossible for him to think very long about it. He'd assumed it had something to do with the way Vortians' legs are shaped.

Then they looked up. Standing there, looking exhausted and faces red, blue, and various different shades of colors that had nothing to do with their natural pigment, were several other aliens. "Uh...oh, uh..." Was all Dib could think to say. He'd run out of shock along with his breath. But there were a few faces he recognized.

"PLK!" Yelled one of the faces he'd recognized. It was Lard-nar, and he ran towards his mother immediately. "Plk-plk, what are you _doing_ here!?" Dib assumed "Plk" was some form of endearment.

"Heck if _I_ know!" She said, "I just woke up near this little brat, and we spent the last five or ten minutes running from whatever in the heck those lizard things are!" She explained, pointing at the "brat", Dib.

"What? Five or ten _minutes_?! Come on, it _had_ to be longer than _that_!" Dib spoke up, having finally caught his breath.

"Dib?!" Came a couple of familiar voices. Dib looked up to see faces which, though he didn't recognize them, seemed somewhat familar.

"Who?" He asked as they walked over to him.

"It's me, Agent Tuna Ghost!" Replied the woman. She had glasses and a pink-violet mop of punk-tastic hair, with one skull earring. She also had a silver necklace with pink stars, yellow dots, and a couple of skulls.

"And me, Agent Nessie!" Said the man. He had swept-back prussian-blue hair, with goggles and a white lab-coat with a neck that came up to mostly cover his mouth. He had a name-tag for "Scotch Pharmeceuticals", and looked every bit the part of a pharmacist.

"Ah!" Said Dib. "Of course! I thought you looked familiar! How'd you get here?" He asked, not even questioning how they knew his real name. It wasn't exactly rocket-science to figure that out.

"Well, probably the same way you did," replied Agent Nessie.

"Yeah, woke up in a strange place, next to some aliens." Replied Agent Tuna Ghost.

Dib was disappointed that they didn't have any better information. "Well, good; at least we're all on the same page," he replied sardonically.

"Hey, who's that?" Came a high-sounding, slightly familiar voice.

"I think it's that Large-headed Kid." Came another familiar, lower-sounding voice.

"Oh, yeah! Heh, heh, that one," replied the high-sounding voice. Looking over, one realized that they were the Almighty Tallests, along with a shorter, yellow-ish-green-eyed Irken who was currently clinging onto the pak of the Purple one.

Dib hadn't noticed them until now; quite frankly, they blended in with the crazy color-scheme of the "greenery". "Hey! What are you-" he started, but then he remembered, "Oh, wait..."

Lard-nar had stopped chatting with his mother and turned to glare at the Irkens, "Just great; of all the planets I could be mysteriously stuck on-"

"Now _don't_ start that again~!" Came the voice of a rather annoyed alien. (You may now imagine him with an English accent. Come on. You know you already did.) He was a blue-ish-gray-ish, and had two little tongues hanging out of his mouth. He also had two sets of tiny eyes, and two tiny fangs poking out at the corners of his wobbly-looking lips. He had a mop of rather flat, pale red spiky hair, and was humanoid-looking except for his feet -which were like two cones or hooves. Maybe cone-shaped hooves? In any case, he seemed like he was getting rather annoyed at Lard-nar.

Just as Lard-nar, the other alien, and the Irkens were arguing, another Irken stepped out of seemingly nowhere, stating to Dib, "Well, now -looks like your HEAD has gained intergalactic fame."

"Tak! What are you-D'oh! I mean, I didn't see you there! What's going on here?!" Replied Dib, glad to finally find his comrade-in-arms against Zim in this trans-planetary nightmare. They walked towards each other, but kept their voices at normal pitch to avoid suspicion.

After all, Dib was interested in helping the Resisty -but he also was hoping to catch Zim and prove to his own people aliens existed. Tak was glad to assist, because she had a grudge against him. But despite being comrades against Zim and going on crazy, psychic, and otherwise paranormal adventures together, he still didn't quite get the reason why she was willing to cooperate with him. It all seemed too much like she was hiding something from him -especially as of late, when she'd left to do "something important" just as they seemed to be getting along well enough.

"It looks like I'm going to be stuck here with some of the most annoying people," She said, sighing.

"Hey, where's the necklace?" Asked Dib, referring to her psychic power-enhancing necklace.

"It's right here," she pointed to her pak.

"Good," Dib seemed to sigh with relief, "I wonder if there's anyone else out there? Do you think you can sense 'em?"

Tak shrugged. "I've already tried, but the only ones I've been able to find are us," she guestured to the rest of the arguers, "and the various life-forms on this planet. But we're the only sentient ones so far."

"Then maybe we'll find someone when we move around?" Suggested Dib. "Just how far is your search-radius?"

"Only about-" Tak started, but turned to see Lard-nar coming up to them. 'Stay cool,' she mentally reminded Dib, and he let out a breath. He didn't wonder why she could do that without the necklace. He couldn't even see its chain around her neck.

"Hey, what's going on here? Why are you so _friendly_ with this -_Irken_?!" Lard-nar spat out the last word like it was pure poison.

Sighing, Dib explained with some mental coaching from Tak, "This is Tak. She's been helping me out with a certain, er, problem...that...totally doesn't involve any alien governments or anything!" Dib held his hands up and grinned cheesily. Tak hoped his bad acting-skills wouldn't be noticed. But, apparently, Lard-nar bought it.

"Yeah, well..." With a hand on his chin, he seemed to be sizing Tak up. But eventually he said, "I wouldn't trust 'em, but okay. If you say so..." he seemed to be relatively pleased with his assessment, so he wandered off.

'Cheap, much?' Tak directed this thought about Dib's acting skills towards him.

Dib sent a look her way and thought, '_You told_ me say it!'

'Yes, and you were a _terrible_ actor!' Tak thought back as she turned away. No one noticed this quick thought exchange, and both Dib and Tak went back to their respective sides of the group.

The group of sixteen had now separated into the Resisty's side, the Irkens' side, and the Undecideds', who seemed to regard the rest with nervous gazes. Despite their relative similar predicament, the two opposing sides were intent on blaming the others.

"*Sigh* This is getting us NOWHERE!" Exclaimed an alien from the Undecideds' group, a tall, black alien whose head ended in two points, with a reddish-orange bit in the middle. He had almond-shaped, shiny, pale blue eyes, and seemed to be dressed nicely. He walked past the other two squabbling groups and stood at the edge of the clearing, arms crossed in disdain.

"But- THEY'RE the horrible bad guys!" Insisted Lard-nar, who seemed to have run out of intelligent arguments.

"We ARE NOT!" Shouted Tallest Purple.

The adviser sitting on Tallest Purple's pak had jumped off, and was now saying, "We have NOTHING to do with this! It must've been one of your stupid Resisty ideas!"

"It's just as _stupid_ as your NAME!" Added Tallest Red.

"Hey!" Shouted Lard-nar, "Why would WE put ourselves in danger?!"

"WE wouldn't even go NEAR this horrible planet! Especially without any snacks!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple.

"Will you LISTEN to yourselves?! You're acting like _children_!" Exclaimed the tall black alien who'd spoken up earlier. The ones he addressed seemed to turn their gaze down in shame. "If we can't find any other reason for why we would all be here, then isn't it obvious that someone _else_ must've done it?!"

"I agree. This doesn't seem like anything we would've done," Replied Tak. "No one here has either the desire nor technology to do something like this. So it must've been an outside force." She seemed to be glancing about, trying to take in the surroundings.

"Hhhmmm...an outside force...well, I'm all out of ideas. I can't think of any_thing_ or any_one_ who would care enough to pick us all out of our homes and drop us on the same horrible planet. *Sighs* There goes my 'Space Ghost Revenge' theory..." Dib replied, holding his chin in thought. The others nodded thoughtfully. Dib noticed that Tak seemed somewhat alert. Or was it nervous? It was irritating the way she kept glancing about. _He_ was supposed to be the suspiciously alert one!

"Hey, why do you keep looking around like that?" The Tallests' adviser asked.

"Oh, uh..." realizing they were all looking at her, Tak finally explained, "I noticed that we haven't heard any of those crashing lizards recently." Then, thinking towards Dib, 'And I'm worried that I can't sense something...'

"What?!" Asked Dib suddenly, then he realized he shouldn't respond to telepathy with words. But the others didn't notice; they were all too worried about the noise-less crashing lizards.

"She's right; it has stopped!" One of the aliens said. This one was a gloopy-looking alien, completely yellow, with reddish and brown colored thingies that looked like petals on its head, and one red eye.

"Oh, my! Are they gonna' eat us!?" Exclaimed the blob-woman.

"Hey, we should get out of here!" Said an alien who looked surprisingly human, and wore what could only be considered "Mad Hatter cosplay".

"Y-Yeah, maybe we should get out of here..." agreed Lard-nar.

"It's too out in the open..." agreed the Tallests' advisor.

Suddenly, something came screaming out of the jungle, frightening everyone out of their socks. They had to find them to put them back on again. But in the meantime...

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Screamed the oddly triangular form of the alien, which slammed into Tallest Purple's back and hung on there until the adviser managed to pry it loose. "DON'T LET IT GET ME, DON'T LET IT GET ME!"

"AAAAHHHHH! IT'S ON MY PAK! IT'S ON MY -OH DEAR SWEEET HULLA-BULLUHLUHLUHLUH, HELP MEEE!" Screamed Tallest Purple. Tallest Red was trying to find something to shoot it with. The adviser pried the little alien loose and flung it to the ground. After the screaming died down, they looked at it to find...

"SHLOONKTAPOOXIS!" Yelled Lard-nar.

"AAAHHH!" Screamed the triangular alien in response.

"What in HAIRY-NAHRRY'S NAME are you DOING, frightening us to DEATH!?" Lard-nar shouted, pointing at him.

The alien blinked. "Oh, HI, Sir!" He grinned stupidly. "Man am I glad to see YOU here!"

'Hey,' thought Dib to Tak, 'I thought you said there weren't any others around here!'

'No,' replied Tak, 'I said there weren't any other _sentient_ life-forms around here.'

Dib raised an eyebrow at the little triangular alien. She had a point.

Lard-nar looked like he was about to punch him. "Hey, is this guy one of yours?" Asked Tallest Purple, pointing at it.

Lard-nar seemed a bit embarrassed as he cleared his throat, "ACHEM, uh...yes..."

Tallest Purple pointed to Tak, "You! Punish it."

"Yes, Sir!" Tak saluted, then turned to Shloonktapooxis and glared.

"YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Yelled the triangular floaty alien, before he flew off into the jungle.

"Waaaiit! Shloonky, you don't know the waaayyy!" Shouted Lasch-mik, as she ran off after him.

Tak just blinked. "Wow. And I didn't even _do_ anything." The others nodded in respect for her glaring intimidation.

"It looks like we're stuck with a moron..." mumbled the Tallests' adviser.

"More like a FEW..." Grumbled Tallest Red.

"*Sigh* I guess I better go help my mother catch him. He's liable to run off to who-knows-where, and- uh- ouh...!" Lard-nar suddenly stared agog at what was behind the Almighty Tallests, and he contemplated whether he should tell them, or let them be potentially attacked by whatever it was.

"What?" Agent Nessie turned around and instantly realized why he was looking so scared. Everyone had decided to turn to look at what had positively frightened him.

A giant, gray-ish cloud, shaped in the inextricable shape of a bunny-rabbit, seemed to have descended out of the sky nearby. They all instantly ran away from it.

After running -yet again- from the incredibly disturbing and yet bunny-ish clouds, they finally stopped for breath. If they kept running like this, it might qualify as an Olympic Marathon.

"This," gasped Dib, "Is like an awful, real-life version of the Blair Witch Project!"

"You mean there's something even _worse_ than the original?!" Exclaimed Agent Nessie.

"NOTHING is worse than the original! Believe me, I had to _RESEARCH_ it!" Responded Agent Tuna Ghost. The other two looked at her in sympathy.

"We lost my motheeerrr!" Moaned Lard-nar in the background. "I'm going back to look for her!"

"Hey, I was wondering, are all Earthlings as tall as you?" Asked Tallest Red to Agent Nessie, who was standing nearby.

Agent Nessie just blinked and then said, "But, I'm only five foot nine!"

"If you want tall, I know some people in Noway who are even larger," commented Agent Tuna Ghost, who was actually taller than Agent Nessie.

"And how tall are _you_?" Asked Tallest Purple to Agent Tuna Ghost.

"Without my heels? Six feet, even." She replied.

"I don't believe you!" Said Tallest Purple, who was about six and a half feet. "Take off your shoes and let's see!"

"Okay, then..." Agent Tuna Ghost then proceeded to remove her shoes and stood up for a measuring contest with the Tallest.

"Alright, before this gets any more bizarre..." Dib spoke up, "Does anyone have any idea where we are, or what we should do now? I mean, I'm no expert, but-"

"THEN SHUT-UP!" Shouted the rest of the group. They were understandably tired from running around so much.

Glaring, Dib unadvisedly continued, "Look, I just think that we should try and find some place to-"

Poking him on the shoulder, the Tallests' adviser said, "Hey, hey, Big-Head-Kid, be quiet! The Tallests don't like it when anyone disturbs a 'Tall-Off," he explained.

A song started playing in the background which sounded suspiciously like OMC's "How Bizarre".

Looking at the scene, which involved both Agents Tuna Ghost and Nessie with their shoes off now, being scanned for comparison with the Almighty Tallests, Dib stared for a second and then glared.

"Oh, you've GOT to be kidding me," he moaned and rubbed his head.

"Hey, that reminds me," said the blue-gray alien with two tongues sticking out that just seemed to dangle there, unused. "How'd you manage to enlarge your head so much? 'Cause that thing's _wicked_!"

"Look, I'm only going to say this once, but ENOUGH with the comments about the size of my head! I mean, I don't go around saying, 'Hey, two-tongued guy, you sure got two tongues hanging outside of your mouth!' or, 'Hey, yellow goo-alien, you sure are yellow!' And besides," Dib crossed his arms, "My name's _Dib_, NOT Big-Head-Kid!"

"Well, aren't YOU special!" The Tallests' adviser poked Dib in the head, as if to let out some of his hot air. "Don't get too full of yourself, or else something _bad_ might happen to you!"

"Oh, like it _hasn't_ happened already!" Replied Dib.

"Hey, and while we're on the subject of names," commented the yellow gloopy-looking alien with one red eye and a bit of what looked like reddish and brown flower petals on its head, "My name's Tarky." It nodded to Dib.

"Uh...hi," he said, unsure with the sudden friendliness.

"And I'm Vrilly," said the alien who looked surprisingly human, wearing the "Mad Hatter Cosplay" get-up.

"I'm Crystal," said the crystalline alien who looked like a living, shining jewel.

"Crystal?!" Asked a few others incredulously.

"What can I say? My family thought it was ironic!" She replied with a shrug.

"I'm Clasps," said the blob-woman. "And I'm a female, just in case you were wondering." Everybody nodded. They weren't wondering, but they gratefully accepted the explanation.

"Me, too!" Said Vrilly. "I'm female!"

"Me, three!" Said Crystal.

"Oh, are we doing intros and stuff? I'm Vick, and I'm female!" Added Agent Tuna Ghost after having been thoroughly measured by the Tallests. They seemed sufficiently pleased that the two Earthlings in question were indeed shorter than them.

"I'm Tak, and I'm female," stated Tak, though she didn't think it needed to be said.

"*Sigh* Okay, since everybody else is doing it," said the Tallests' adviser, "I'm Sploods, and I'm an Adviser to the Almighty Tallests." Sploods stood up straighter as he said this. "And I'm male."

"Yes, and you all know us, WE'RE," Tallest Purple spoke up, "The Almighty Tallest, leaders of the GREAT and Marvelous Irken Empire, and you may all call us 'Sir'!"

Everyone else who had an opinion about their haughty attitudes kept silent.

"And we're both male," added Tallest Red, just in case. Tallest Purple poked him with an elbow, and they had a quick slap-fight before finishing.

"I'm Ploopoh," the blue-gray alien with two tongues said, "And I'm male."

"I am THROBULATOOOR!" Yelled an alien with a brainy-looking head, which seemed to lack a skull. "I am a MAAALLLEEE!"

"Gee, if _that_ isn't obvious..." mumbled Agent Nessie.

"Huh? Did you say something?" Asked Tarky, but Agent Nessie turned his head away and instantly pretended like it didn't concern him.

"I'm Starky, and I'm a male," said the tall black alien with the reddish-orange on his head. "I'm also an ambassador of my people, the Crstl-ine. It's nice to meet you." He said with absolutely no enthusiasm.

_(A/N: "Crstl-ine" is Pronounced "Kurst-a-line".)_

"Hey, Dib-kid, male or female?" Asked Ploopoh, poking him.

Sighing, Dib said, "I'm a male."

"Well, I'm female, _obviously_, since I'm Lard-nar's _mother_; I'm Lasch-mik!" Stated a slightly singed-looking Lasch-mik, holding a badly-singed, but happy-looking, Shloonktapooxis.

"WHAAAHHH!" Yelled everybody in shock at their sudden return.

Gasping, Ploopoh said, "Geeze, you scared us! What happened to Lard-nar? I thought he went looking for you?!"

Lasch-mik developed a confused look and said, "I didn't see 'Nar any-"

Just then, Lard-nar came running through the bush, with an angry, rabid beast on his heels. (No one took the time to observe the beast's appearance, other than that it was dark red in color and was bearing its sharp teeth with foaming saliva.) Once he reached the group he ran and hid behind the Irkens, just to make sure it ate them, first. But once it appeared, everyone screamed so loudly that the wild, rabid beast decided it didn't want to eat these scary things; and it ran off, whimpering like a hyena into the background. The group looked on, impressed...but confused.

"How bizarre, how bizarre," was still playing on in the background, and a couple of people lifted their heads to look around for the source of the sound.

"Well, that's shocking," said Lasch-mik, letting Shloonktapooxis go. He floated up, looking around for Lard-nar.

"Hey, it's gone, Sir! You can come out, now!" He said as he saw Lard-nar cowering in fear behind the Tallests. Looking up, Lard-nar stood up and tried to look as if he hadn't been about to shed precious bodily fluids in embarrassing, alien ways when running from that beast.

"I'm, I'm okay..." He walked stiffly over to the rest of the group. Then he turned, pointing to a bush and said, "I'm just, uh...gonna' need to go over there for a few minutes...! Don't worry about me," he ran behind the bush swiftly.

The group waited a few moments until they heard, "AAAAAAAAARRRRAAGHEHWHSUIDWFWJAJAAAAAHHHAHFAHHAAAAA!"

Silence.

"Well, I guess that means he's fine!" Shloonktapooxis smiled with his tongue sticking out. The others regarded him with calm wonderment.

'Isn't he worried about him?' Thought Dib.

'The lights are on, but nobody's home,' replied Tak telepathically. She and Dib exchanged a glance before looking away.

"Phew! Well, speaking of bushes..." Started Agent Nessie, "I think I might need to use one after all this..."

Vick smirked, "Yeah, that's a good point."

"After all this, I don't think I can go," commented Dib dully. He felt like he couldn't relax around all those aliens.

"What are you guys talking about?" Asked Vrilly.

"Using the restroom." Replied Vick. "Anybody else here have to go?" She asked the group.

Several people, sans-Irkens, raised their hands.

"Okay, then, this way's the little girl's room, er, females' room," she pointed to an out-cropping of rock, "and that way's the little males' room," she pointed to several large, bushy bushes and trees in the opposite direction.

Everyone started heading in their prescribed directions.

Except for one. Tarky started heading off alone to another large bush. "Hey, where are you goin'?" Asked Shloonktapooxis.

"The hermaphrodites' room," explained Tarky as "he" pointed.

And, unlike another popular scene, nobody wanted to use the hermaphrodites' room.

* * *

After a good restroom-break and several mishaps involving what to and what not to use as toilet-paper, they were all (relatively) refreshed. (After a while, Dib even managed to relax enough to go. I just know you were all curious about that.)

"Alright, what's next?" Asked Sploods, after everyone had finally emerged. Even Lard-nar had finally re-joined the group, looking like he hadn't almost had a nervous break-down. 'Darn, I was hoping for that,' thought Sploods as he realized this.

Vrilly waved her arm, "We build a shelter and look for food?" Everyone nodded in agreement to that.

"Then we can build a fire and look around, make a map of this place," Added Lard-nar.

"Unless, of course...a fire attracts those animals..." mentioned Agent Nessie, who had somehow managed to avoid giving his real name during introductions.

Everyone looked silent and nervous at this. "Of course, it _could_ scare them off," suggested Shloonktapooxis.

They started mumbling amongst themselves, until Sploods finally managed to get their attention again. "SHUT-UUUUP!"

"What?" Asked Ploopoh, who hadn't been paying attention.

"Let's organize into groups!" Shouted Sploods, "Group one will look for a place or materials to build a shelter! Group two will search the area for edible foods!"

"Oooh! Oooh!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple, waving his hands, "WE'LL be in THAT GROUP!" Tallest Red was grinning happily, thinking of getting something to eat. But it seemed slightly evil to some...

"I guess _I'll_ be in the Food Group," said Lard-nar, "Just to make sure that those two don't feed us anything poisonous!"

"Oh, I'll go, too! We have to search for water, as well!" Agent Nessie jumped up, walking over to him.

"Okay...anyone else for the Food Group?" Asked Sploods.

"I don't need to; I have a slightly different diet, but I'm good at identifying plants, so I'm okay." Replied Tarky. Though technically, he just said this because he didn't want to be in the same group as the Almighty Tallests and the Resisty's leader! They just didn't stop arguing!

"I'll go! I have to look for minerals!" Replied Crystal.

"Anybody else?" Nobody wanted to join, so the group of food-gatherers was formed of the Almighty Tallests, Sploods, Lard-nar, Agent Nessie, and Crystal.

"Then, I guess we'll just look for decent shelter," said Vick. The others agreed.

"Someone should stay here and guard the camp," suggested Clasps. Everyone agreed with that.

"But who?" Asked Ploopoh.

"How about whoever's weaker?" Suggested Lard-nar. His mother grabbed one of those things on his head and pulled at it. "Ow, ow! Er, I mean, they can -can try and figure out how to make a fire!" His mother seemed satisfied with this, and so she let go.

"I suppose I'll stay behind -I'm not very strong," said Clasps, the blob-woman. The others nodded in sympathetic agreement.

"I can stay behind," said Vrilly, "I'm sort-of weak, and I've had some outdoors experience." The others "Ooo-ed" at this, and agreed.

"Then I guess that just leaves me," said Lasch-mik, "As you can see, I'm not exactly a spring space-chicken." The others nodded but decided not to say anything about this statement. Dib raised an eyebrow at the "spring space-chicken" mention, but said nothing.

"Then, we'll get going!" Said Vick, "Let's fan out and search the area for caves or other natural features, but make sure you stay within ear-shot of each other."

"Come on, Dib, we can use your big head to place things on," said Tak as she grabbed him by his hair-scythe. Vick laughed at this and didn't care to help him out of that predicament, as Tak dragged him along.

"Ow! Oowch! Hey, quit it!" Yelled Dib as Tak continued to drag him. Eventually she stopped dragging him after they went over a rock or two, and he walked, grumbling as he rubbed his scalp.

"Hey," said Vick as the group, which had remained together in a loose formation slowed in front of a particular circle of trees, "What do you guys think of this thing?"

The group, consisting of Vick, Dib, Tak, Shloonktapooxis, Tarky, Throbulator, Starky, and Ploopoh, stared at it.

"It looks like a Fairy Circle," mentioned Ploopoh. Dib's head perked up.

"A Fairy Circle?!" Said Dib, but Tak pulled down on his hair-scythe again.

"Down, Paranorm-head!" She said, then gloated in psychic triumph as he hit the ground. Grumbling, Dib stood up and dusted his pants off.

"Geeze, what's _with_ you today?!" He said as he observed her particular glee in tormenting him recently.

She smirked but said nothing. 'Oh, nothing~' she thought at him, causing him to glare.

This little interaction went relatively unnoticed as the others observed the trees as a potential shelter.

"I wonder if the fairies will let us use it?" Asked Shloonktapooxis, as they all conversed as to whether or not they would.

"Why don't they just ask them?" Wondered Vick.

"No one knows how the group mind-set works," mentioned Starky, who was standing beside her, with a smirk.

"Then maybe their minds need to be re-set?" Said Tak, then she walked towards the others who were still talking.

"Oh, my...I think something bad's going to happen..." said Vick, as she watched Tak walk over there.

"Why do you say that?" Asked Dib.

"Let's just call it 'Woman's Intuition'..." she replied, sweatdropping nervously.

"If that's anything like my Tarsey, then something bad _is_ going to happen..." said Starky nervously. Dib just raised an eyebrow at this.

There was some loud noise, and Shloonktapooxis was somehow lodged inside Tarky's head -he didn't seem to have a mouth- and after that the others were completely obedient.

"Oh, my...!" Mumbled Dib as he rubbed his forehead and shook his head. He was actually rather amused at how she'd managed to do that; if only that it reminded him of what had happened to himself some time earlier when they were chasing after Zim. He'd ended up wedged in the middle of the guy who wears the Bloaty the Pizza Hog costume's stomach. It took them three hours and the Jaws of Life to rescue him from that predicament. In the meantime, Gaz was laughing her head off, while Tak watched on amusedly, drinking an alien soda. He now knew exactly how hilarious it looked, and was having a hard time keeping himself from laughing out of mutual respect for the familiar circumstance. Vick and Starky, however, weren't.

"Wow, you're actually managing to keep a straight face!" Vick said, "I admire your political awareness."

Looking straight at her with a look of incredulity, Dib said, "'Political Awareness'? Just what the heck are you talking about?!"

Laughing again, Vick said, "I don't know!"

Dead-pan, Dib replied, "Whatever," and went back to watching Tak's violent management of the group.

"Political...!" Laughed Starky.

"H-Hey, this reminds me of the time when you were stuck in that guy's stoma-" Vick started reminiscing on the widely-televised event previously mentioned.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THAT!?" Yelled Dib in embarrassment. It was one thing that it was broadcast all over the evening news nationwide -and in some cases world-wide- it was quite another thing to have it proclaimed to a bunch of aliens, especially an ambassador!

The two laughed even more, and then Starky said to Vick, "Hey, wait...some guy's stomach? So, like, did he get eaten?"

"Oh, no," replied Vick. Dib knew he was powerless to stop them now, but that didn't stop him from jumping and waving frantically. "He was actually just lodged within this really really fat guy's rolls of fat, and-"

"Aarrrggh! Oooouuugh!" Moaned Dib in dispair. He was crouching some ways away with his head in his hands. "In front of a bunch of aliens~!" The humiliation in front of tons of cool aliens was too heavy. Sure, he was used to his own people making fun of him, but aliens who didn't have benighted views on things? Awful.

'Oh, will you look at yourself!' Thought Tak as she walked back over to him. 'You can at least hold your fat, big _head_ up!' She pulled him up by his hair-scythe -yet again- and said, "Are you done being pitiful yet?"

"Brings new meaning to the phrase, 'Stuck in a comfortable position!'" Starky was saying as he noticed Dib's malaise. "Actually, that's usually referred to my own position."

"Your position?" Asked Vick, at about the time Tak had arrive to pull Dib's head out of his knees.

'Oh, great, I think he's hitting on Vick,' thought Tak as she walked over to them.

'_Hitting_ on her?!' Thought Dib incredulously. 'But he's an alien!' Then, after a moment's thought, 'Hey, didn't he say something about someone named Tarsey? Who was-'

'It was probably one of his wives. Crstl-ine males can have up to three wives, since the females greatly outnumber the males, and not all are fertile,' stated Tak blankly as she spoke to the two. Dib's curiousity was satisfied, so he didn't pursue the issue. It was also a slightly embarrassing issue.

"Hey, Genius, your ulterior motive's showing," said Tak cruelly as she stared up at them.

"Wh-wha-!?" Said Starky as the part on his head that was usually red-orange turned slightly purplish, almost like iridescence. He turned his head away and said, "What a rude thing to say!"

"What 'ulterior motive'?" Asked Vick. Starky had just been telling her about his totally pointless and cushy job. Apparently being an ambassador when one's planet was a part of the Irken Empire was rather like being the Almighty Tallest. All the glamor, without really having to do anything.

Tak motioned with her finger to come closer, so Vick leaned down, "As a female, do you _really_ have to ask that question?" Whispered Tak.

Looking back at the embarrassed Starky who had been wandering off, Vick then said, "Oh, you've got to be kidding me! _Seriously_?! There's no way..." Tak just nodded. "Oh, I can't _wait_ to tell my friends about this!" She then sort-of skipped off in the direction of the rest of the group, which had since been engaged in an interesting discussion with the inhabitants of the group of trees they had previously been confuzzled over.

Nobody quite knew what became of the issue after that, but Vick had a sort-of satisfied rosy tinge to her cheeks for the next few hours. Of course, that could also have been from all the running they were doing.

"That...was..." Dib started, but then said, "You know, I'm not really sure WHAT to say about this."

Tak just laughed because it was one of the few time's she'd seen him speechless.

"WHAT? WHAAAT!?" Shouted Dib, who'd missed the joke.

"Okay, kids~!" Said Vick in a sort-of sing-song voice. The group had returned with her and was staring at a laughing Tak and an angry Dib, and wondered why Starky had wandered off in embarrassment. "The current residents of the trees told us that it isn't large enough, but! There's a rather large out-cropping of rock that-a-way if we can get a move on before night." She seemed sort-of happy, and the others wondered if they should question it.

Vick was just flattered that an alien really wanted to flirt with her. 'Yes! Score one for my feminine wiles~!' She thought to herself. 'Even though I wasn't actually using them.'

After that, the group re-grouped, with poor Starky trying to avoid Vick. Vick didn't mind because she wasn't interested in him, anyways. They headed in the direction of the out-cropping of rock, making sure to back-track enough so they knew where their camp-site was.

_(A/N: Okay, I think I've sufficiently made it clear enough that Starky was just flirting and Vick wasn't interested, so there won't be any romance between these two characters! But, you know...I can never be too careful with fan-fiction, right~?)_

After walking for quite a long while, Dib finally sat down with a flop! and said, "Man, I could use a drink of water!"

"I know, *sigh* I wish we had some sort of scanner or some way of finding water..." said Vick, looking around.

"Like a dowsing rod," said Dib.

Vick snickered, "Yeah, but where're we gonna' find an elderberry branch around here?" Making silly paranormal jokes seemed like a good way to pass the time, but it did nothing to help the confusion of the folks around them.

"What's 'water'?" Asked Starky.

"What's a 'dowsing rod'?" Asked Shloonktapooxis.

"Why would you want an 'elderberry' branch?" Asked Trobulator. "Whatever that is."

"Well, I have a scanner, but it only works close-range," replied Tak helpfully. Dib was a bit surprised by this; but she seemed to indicate that it was safer in a group, and he had to agree with that assessment. Also, the Almighty Tallest were agreed to the group idea, and she didn't want to disobey them.

"OH!" Dib shouted as he suddenly got an idea, "Quick! Tak, scan the foliage and see if it has water in it!'

"Well, _now_ you're using your brain," she said, as she pulled a small screen out of her pak and aimed it a the plants. "Yep, it looks like some of the plants actually live off of water. Huh. But not all of them. There's a lot of various types of plants here; that's odd. These usually wouldn't live on the same planets, let alone right next to each other."

"You're right," said Tarky, who'd successfully removed Shloonktapooxis with nothing more than a sore head-area. "These look like Ti Lan flowers, but those are Shloompy!"

"Hhhmmm..." Thought Vick. "I can't think of anything. It's too bad we can't make heads or tails of this place; if we were on Earth, I would think to follow the ravines or find a place with the thickest foliage. But here it's wall-to-wall jungle, and I know not all the plants survive on water! *Sigh* Man, this place _SUCKS_!"

"Okay, just WHAT in the HECK is WATER!?" Exclaimed Ploopoh, throwing his arms up.

"What?!" The others looked at him in shock at his sudden outburst.

"Oh, right! Sorry, it's an element on our planet made up of two hydrogen and an oxygen molecule. It's essential to life and covers approximately 70% of the planet. Does that help?" Replied Vick with a sweatdrop.

"Okay! Thanks! FINALLY!" Said Ploopoh, flinging his arms up again.

After taking a moment for all this information to sink in, the others sudden shouted, "HYDROGEN AND OXYGEN!?"

"But wouldn't that be all esplodey and stuff?" Asked Tarky worriedly.

Smirking at this sudden shock, Dib said, "Well, when they're co-bonded it doesn't really do much."

"Yeah, it's actually considered a neutral base..." Added Vick, with a hand to her chin thoughtfully.

"I bet that'd be horribly deadly to Irkens," replied Starky, smirking because he got the chance to get back at Tak for embarrassing him.

"You have _no_ idea..." Said Tak through gritted teeth.

Trying to keep himself from giggling, (because he was sure Tak would injure him for it) Dib then said, "Hey, do you mind keeping that scanner out to look for water? In all this jungle we probably wouldn't see it, even if it is close by."

'You're just enjoying this little joke, _aren't_ you?!' Thought Tak, then she added, 'Well, wait and see when we come across some vlarkae, you won't be laughing then!' Then she turned sharply on her heel and walked off. However, she still kept the scanner out, as per his request. "We should get a move on." She stated simply.

"Gee, what's in _her_ cruller?" Asked Shloonktapooxis.

Almost losing his battle at not giggling, Dib said, "It's, uhm...I'll tell you later..." Then, after an angry growl from Tak up ahead, "Or, not at all!" He said as he started running.

"I have the feeling like we just missed a _really_ good joke," muttered Ploopoh. The others agreed with him on that one.

After walking for what felt like another hour, (in reality it had only been 30 minutes) the group stumbled upon what could only be described as, "That great, big pile of bulbous, horrendously-ugly, rocks." As Dib so succinctly put it.

The large gray chunks of rocks rose above them in some sort of comment about painful fecal-matter, but they dismissed it. Perhaps if they'd payed attention to its comments on fecal pain, then the next series of events wouldn't have happened.

First, the most easily-dismissed thing happened: a cool wind blew. "Well, it looks like we've reached the rocks those fairies told us about. Now, what?" Said Vick, brushing her hair back as the wind blew it across her face. The cooling wind made her want to sit down and relax.

"I don't think that we should stay here," stated Shloonktapooxis. As usual, everybody took to ignoring him. Maybe if they'd payed more attention to his comments, the next events wouldn't have happened, and The Resisty would have a much better name -The Pirate Monkeys!

"I opt to settle down here for the night; I'm tired!" Said Starky, who wasn't used to all this activity.

"But what about the others?" Asked Vick. "They don't know where we've gone -we need to get a message to them somehow."

"Don't worry, I can do that," said Tak, pulling out a little communicator from her pak. "Advisor Sploods, this is Tak. Can you hear me?" As she waited for a response, the others looked on intently. Then, suddenly, a holo-screen sprang up from the tiny thing, showing a very tired and angry-looking Sploods.

"Yeah, waddaya' want!?" He shouted, looking like he had several bruises in several different places.

"Um, uh...what happened to you?" Tak was too curious to continue on as normal.

"Several _DIFFERENT_ things, NOT including my wardrobe _and_ attire! Now, whaddaya' want?!" Poor Sploods. He was so irate, it was almost comical.

"We've located a possible place to make a shelter," began Tak, and Dib felt it necessary to interrupt.

"Yeah, next to the great big pile of bulbous, horrendously-ugly, rocks!" Glaring at Dib and mentally telling him to shut-up, Tak continued.

"We're about ten schpeks away from our original location, and it's growing dark. If you go north from the camp-site," she continued, but Dib interrupted again.

"No, not north! There was that giant pit of thorny brambles, remember?" The rest of the group nodded in pained agreement. The fairies had warned them of it, and then Ploopoh had taken one look too far over the edge and fallen into it. It was painful for him, and the group pulling him out.

Tak glared again, this time mentally asking why he didn't interrupt with pertinent information more often, then continued her report, "He's right; you'll have to go around it, either east or west once you reach it. We went west around its edge, and I believe that might be the long route. But we don't know what's around the eastern edge, so please take care. Once you circumvent the pit of thorns, you'll probably be able to see the large gray rocks rising from the north. That's where you need to go."

"Oh, riiiiggghhht, sssuuuurrreeee... We'll pull Lard-BUTT'S head out of this giant blue ground-plant, then hike right over to where _you_ are! *Sigh*" Sploods replied, then mumbled quietly, "Why'd I ever decide to go into politics...?!"

"Lard-nar got his _head_ stuck in a giant blue ground-plant?" Asked Shloonktapooxis. "Wow!" He wiggled his little tail excitedly.

"Politics involves pulling someone's head out of a- nevermind!" Said Ploopoh quickly, realizing that voicing his inner questions was _not_ the best of ideas right now.

"Yyyeaaah, so I'm gonna' have to help them -oh? What? You got it? Good!" Sploods showed the first good grin they'd seen on him today. Lard-nar showed up on the screen with his head next to Sploods', glaring. His head was, incidentally, covered in a yellowish-orange, translucent goo. It was neat. But he was not pleased.

"NO THANKS TO YOU," was all he said, as he glared sticks and stones at his hated adversary. Currently, they seemed to get on each other's nerves.

"Hey, the others found us a camp-site! One that's NOT in the middle of nowhere, _and_, has some nice rocks to protect us from, uh, stuff!" Replied Sploods, hopeful that he'd forget his anger and focus on that. It worked, and he did.

"The others found us some shelter?! Good! Then tell them to meet us back at the camp-site so they can lead us to it!" He replied, grinning.

The Shelter Group moaned collectively. "Nnnoo~oooo!" Shouted Ploopoh, "Anything but thaaa~aaat!"

"No way! You just gave them perfectly good directions!" Exclaimed Dib.

"And I ain't walking on these heels anymore -my feet are _killing_ me!" Replied Vick, who'd sat down on a rock and was considering taking off her shoes.

Sighing, Tak said, "I guess _I'll_ go -I'm the only one here who _doesn't_ seem to be acting like a big baby!" She shot a look over at Dib, who decided there was just no pleasing this person today, and so stopped trying. He turned his head away and pouted.

"Okay, fine," sighed Lard-nar. "We'll meet you at the camp-site, then. We've got enough food here for a small meal; oh, and about that 'water' liquid," he flinched a bit when he said it, "It's found in little puddles and depressions, but just don't try to drink any that's in a river or stream or something. Apparently it's tainted with cyanide, arsenic, and stricknine." Both Dib and Vick grimaced accordingly. "But, surprisingly, the stuff in the puddles and little depressions is quite pure, so you just need to find something to carry it in."

"Phew! _That's_ a relief!" Said Dib.

"Yeah, I didn't think we'd find any unless it rained or something," agreed Vick.

"What's 'rain'?" Asked Throbulator.

Sighing, Dib then began to explain the three forms of water and the water cycle; after which everybody was sufficiently bored. Maybe it was the boring sounds of Dib's talking which caused the next events.

"*Snarck!* Oh! Oh, uh...that was very...uh... Uh, interesting!" Replied Lard-nar, who had just barely managed to avoid falling asleep. Shloonktapooxis didn't fare so well, and bobbed up and down on Ploopoh's head, sleep-floating.

Poor Sploods looked like he was watching a children's show, his brain almost comatose from lack of activity, and he was happy when Lard-nar punched his head to snap him out of it.

"Wow...Irkens don't sleep, but I'm sure I almost went comatose," they could hear Tallest Red off-screen.

Tallest Purple moaned and Agent Nessie smacked himself on the head in a classic face-palm.

"Dib, you are never, _ever_ allowed to give any explanations, _ever again_!" Said Vick, looking like she was about to slap him.

"What?! But -" on seeing all their glares, Dib simply said, "Oh, alright!"

"Dib's voice seems to resonate with my crystalline structure in a way similar to sleep," commented Crystal from over the communicator.

"You mean...he's boring you to sleep?" Replied Lard-nar, getting a laugh.

"Um, no...I mean it feels like I just took a rest and now I'm awake! Let's get going!" Replied Crystal, jumping up and down.

"Well, his boring voice _does_ have a purpose," stated Lard-nar in surprise. Everyone nodded. "We should get moving again, or we won't make it to the camp-site before dark."

"Oh, alright~!" Moaned Tallest Purple.

"After _that_ long-winded explanation? I wouldn't mind climbing a mountain!" Replied Tallest Red with a slight smirk.

"Alright, we'll contact you if there's any trouble. Sploods out." The communicator's screen went dark.

"I'll go meet them at the camp-site," said Tak as she put the communicator back into her pak.

'You mean you're going _alone_?!' Dib thought at her, not wanting to seem overly concerned. But someone else wasn't too worried.

"You're going out there _alone_!?" Exclaimed Throbulator.

"That's not a very good idea," replied Starky.

"At least let one of us go with you, it's getting late," added Tarky.

"Then who else wants to hike _back there_?!" Replied Tak simply. There was silence from the group.

"I guess I'll go," sighed Dib at last.

'No! Stupid!' Said Tak mentally, then she said, "You humans need to conserve your strength; without water, you're useless."

Glaring at her, Dib couldn't refute her claim. They'd been hiking for at least a couple of hours now, running a lot, and his mouth was as dry as a desert. He didn't even want to_ think_ about how they'd bathe. 'I'm not an idiot,' was all he could think of to think in reply to her claim.

"She has a point," said Vick.

"Then take Shloonktapooxis, he doesn't have any legs, and he can float!" Replied Dib angrily. Quite frankly, her mood for this entire day was getting on his nerves. And it didn't help that she was psychically sharing it with _him_.

"Yeah!" Agreed Tarky.

Sighing, Tak grabbed the triangular alien, who was still snoozing on Ploopoh's head, and walked off to the south-east. She was going to try and get back to the camp-site from that direction, though the jungle looked even thicker through there.

"See ya'!" Said several people, as she walked off.

After a few minutes passed, Tarky spoke up and said, "So...who wants to play a game?" The others moaned and collapsed into their comfortable positions on the ground.

"Throbulator! Wants to play a game!" Exclaimed Throbulator in that odd way of his. That we all love~!

"Cool!" Said Tarky, and he went on explaining the rules of whatever game it was they were going to play.

Dib sighed and leaned back on a stone. 'I wonder how Tak's getting along... Even though she's being a big jerk to me today,' he thought.

'_I'm_ not being a big jerk, YOU ARE!' Tak shouted mentally back at him, making him frown and glare a bit. He wasn't even going to _try_ to figure this one out.

A faint whooshing sound came overhead. But everyone, being too tired, ignored it. There it came again, only louder this time. And then it came the third time, a shrieking whistling coming to their ears/hearing organs. After they looked up, it was already too late. A very large flying creature, closely resembling a brilliantly pinkish-red feathered bird with green skin, was dropping something light green at them. Screaming, they all had a split-second to react. Most ran away from the thing, Dib included.

It hit Dib right square in the head.

While the others peaked out from their hiding places, Dib painfully pulled himself up. The bird was still flying in the sky, but it didn't come at them again. It seemed to be looking for something else.

"Psst! Run, Dib! Run!" Said Vick from behind a small tree. _(A/N: Everybody, now! "Run, Forrest, run!")_

"Uuuwaauulggh~" moaned Dib, trying to stumble towards the rocks for a hiding-place.

In the dusky twilight, it was getting harder and harder to see. They hid for what seemed like hours, but though they could see it in the sky at times, it didn't come near them again. Hiding under anything they could find, they could faintly make out several screams from a distance. They grew much louder, and now they realized whose they were.

"It's the others!" Said Throbulator, remarkably quiet.

"I wonder what they've been up to?" Asked Tarky.

* * *

Backing up a bit, we can find out what they were up to, and what was happening then.

The Food Group had finally started heading back after communicating with Tak. Agent Nessie's coat was turned into a food-carrying tarp, and he and Crystal ended up carrying it most of the time.

Lard-nar was usually arguing with Sploods or anyone who decided to say something even slightly favoring the Irkens. Sploods had a hard time walking with his long robes, and kept tripping and even falling into things. He eventually had to cut part of them off, but he didn't like it.

The Almighty Tallest were bored and glad they could hover over the rough terrain, but it didn't mean they were free of the branches and stuff.

And Crystal was just happy to be getting back; she was sure she couldn't stand another minute with those annoying males.

As they walked along, Crystal sang a song, so she could drown out their voices. The bird-thing's piercing cry was heard, and everyone stopped, listening. It didn't seem too far off, but they couldn't tell where it was coming from. They continued on again, just in time to reach the pool of slimy, poisonous muck they'd had to pull Lard-nar out of on the first part of their trek.

Snickering about it, -except for Lard-nar, of course, who still had black stains on his skin- they all proceeded to avoid it. Then Agent Nessie stepped in a patch of what apparently were cacti, and stung himself on some puffy -hopefully not poisonous- balls extending from a tree branch.

The Tallest rushed to save the food, and Agent Nessie was extracted without too much trouble. The rest of the way, they all laughed about puffy balls and slimy, poisonous muck, much to Lard-nar and Agent Nessie's chagrin. The food tarp had to be taken away from the Tallest because they were munching on the food, which was the sole reason they hadn't been carrying it before...

There was a rush of wind, and they were all almost blown down. Crouching cautiously, they peered upwards, just in time to see yellow, hard-as-rocks fruit being hurled at them. (They knew they were hard as rocks because they'd tried eating them before.) Screaming loudly, everyone ran, the Tallest gathering up the corners of the food tarp and running off with it, to "keep it safe".

Nobody had the sense to argue when yellow, hard-as-rocks fruit was being thrown at them, and so they ran off towards the camp-site -at least, what they assumed was the general direction of it. Without conversing, it was hard to really tell where they were going. They could very well have been heading into the pit of thorns, for all they knew!

Clasps the blob-woman lifted her head at the sounds of screaming and rustling coming from the bushes. "Hey, does anyone else hear that?"

The other two, Lasch-mik and Vrilly, looked up as well and listened carefully. There was silence for what seemed like a good long minute, before-

"AAAAAHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Agent Nessie came hurtling through the bushes, screaming. Lard-nar and Sploods were right behind him, and Crystal was next, followed by... There was no one following.

Looking around, they slowly began to take stock of where they were and what they'd been doing.

"Hey!" Lard-nar finally said, "Where are those guys?!"

"Ah!" Crystal screamed as she realized what he was saying.

"CURSES! They had the FOOD WITH 'EM!" Exclaimed Lard-nar.

"HEY!" Shouted Sploods, totally fed up with Lard-nar blaming them for everything. "That BIRD was chasing after us -it probably caught THEM 'cause they had the FOOD!"

"HUH!?" Exclaimed Clasps, Lasch-mik, and Vrilly.

"NOOOOOEEEEESSS! WHATEVER SHALL WE DOOOOOO~OOO!?" Shouted Vrilly, falling to her knees and grabbing the small strands of hair that stuck out from under her hat. Then she looked up and noticed everyone staring at her.

Silence.

"Oh, what?!" She asked. "Like _I'M_ the ONLY one who thinks that if the leading government of an Empire falls, it'll be bad for the economy? Huh?"

The others blinked, and considered that for a moment.

"Well, yes, but, considering that the Almighty Tallest don't exactly _make_ the decisions-" Began Lard-nar, just before another "whooshing" sound was heard, and they all looked in its direction, half-expecting the bird to come swooping down on them at that moment.

But instead, they saw a very different scene. The Almighty Tallest had climbed a very large, reddish, bulbous-looking...thing. It looked halfway between a tree and a rock, and they were using it to hide from the bird. For whatever reason.

"DON'T YOU DARE COME ANY CLOSER!" Shouted Tallest Purple, grasping the "sack" of food tightly.

"WE'LL JUMP! WE-ER, I SWEAR!" Shouted Tallest Red.

"HEY!" Shouted Tallest Purple again, for some reason offended by this.

"I thought you said you didn't want me to swear in your name unless you agreed to it," Tallest Red's words were mostly drowned out by the shrieking of the bird "whooshing" over again.

"I only thought that-" Started Tallest Purple, but then the bird came swooping towards them, large beak open for breakfast. Well, actually, dinner, but let's not dwell on semantics, eh?

The two Tallest then screamed, and then did the most silly act of selfless bravery; silly, because they could float, and selfless, because the bird hit its wing as it flew by. They jumped down from the rock-tree, "landing" in a floating "pwouf"-sound, since they almost hit the ground and their anti-gravity generators had to work over-time just to stop their descent. And finally, bravery, since they were both obviously scared witless by the time they jumped.

They didn't act like it, of course, when they stood up again, but that wasn't like them to do much of, anyways. Modesty wasn't in their job-description. Ordering people around was! The bird didn't come back for a few minutes since it hurt its wing on the rock-tree, and they were equally resting from all the predicaments as well.

"You! Adviser!" Shouted Tallest Red, who first regained his breath, "Take this food and keep it safe." Nodding, Tallest Purple handed the large "sack"' made up of Agent Nessie's coat to Sploods as he took it from him.

"*Hauh* That, *Haugh!* was NUTS!" Stated Tallest Purple, getting his breath back. "I haven't moved that much since Elite Training!"

"Psh, I know, tell me about it!" Replied Tallest Red, "We need to get going. I think that bird may be back for us if we stay here."

"'Get going' _where_?!" Exclaimed Clasps. "What the heck's been going on?! Where are the others!?"

"Oh, right!" Said Sploods, slapping his forehead.

"Sorry, forgot you weren't there," added Agent Nessie.

"We recieved a message from Tak, saying that they'd found some rocks we could take shelter in," replied Tallest Purple.

"Yeah, but then that BIRD-THING started chasing us," added Tallest Red.

"And we had to skizs it all the way here!" Added Sploods, who was now sitting down, still holding onto the food-bag.

"Well, at least we've got food," replied Lard-nar. He was too tired to add what he was thinking, 'If certain people haven't _eaten it all_, first.'

"We should get going, though. Or at least hide ourselves from that bird!" Commented Crystal as she eyed the sky warily.

"Don't we have to wait for Tak?" Asked Sploods, remembering their agreement. "She was gonna' show us the way."

"That bird won't be away for long; it's got to be pretty angry," said Clasps, remarkably paying attention to this horrifying conversation.

"We don't have enough time, so maybe we can meet her on the way there," replied Crystal.

"Well _I_ think we should _wait_ for Tak!" Replied Sploods, now rested enough to feel annoyed.

"What!? That's the stupidest idea-" Lard-nar joined the conversation, and it instantly devolved into an argument.

"WHAT'D YOU CALL ME!?" Shouted Sploods as everyone bickered.

"I'm ordering you all to SHUT-UP!" Shouted Tallest Purple, who was not listened to.

"Well, YOU'RE a BIG POO-DOO HEAD!" Shouted Lard-nar as the group argument continued.

"Wait, shouldn't we be taking shelter, or.. something?" Asked Agent Nessie, who was just barely audible over the bickering.

"Look, _I'M_ the TALLEST, and _I_ say that we should-" Tallest Red's voice rose above the din for a second before drowning again in the sea of disagreement.

"Oh, wow-" came Clasps' voice as a new person walked in. Tak was just standing there, staring at the debaucle with Shloonktapooxis, surprisingly wearing the same expression on her face: that of shock and slight disappointment.

"Wow, it's just like a _REAL_ POLITICAL DEBATE!" Exclaimed Shloonktapooxis, which caused the others to stop arguing once they'd realized who it was.

"SHLOONK!" Yelled Lard-nar. "_THERE_ you are!"

"See?!" Said Sploods, "Didn't I tell you they were close by now!?"

"What?! No, you didn't!" Yelled Lard-nar, "You didn't tell us anything-"

Just as Sploods was yelling back about how he had but Lard-nar just hadn't been listening, Tak suddenly shouted, "BE QUIEEEEEEET!" There was silence. The entire group turned to look at her, and finally observed that she looked a lot less-than-fresh.

First of all, she looked tired -there was sap all over her, and she had some tears in the fabric of her clothes- there had been a battle of avoiding tentacled plant-type monsters, and she didn't like having to extract both herself, and Shloonktapooxis from them. The first time had been her, the second time him, and they both now knew that the only way to avoid them was to find out where they were hiding. But she didn't voice all this. Instead, she simply said, "Everyone, follow me; and move quickly -there's not much time before night!"

"You're kidding me!" Said Lard-nar. "We've just been running this entire time from some kind of bird-type thing!"

"Then we'd better hurry, before it returns," replied Tak evenly. Lard-nar still didn't seem convinced, and the Tallest decided to add to this.

"Do _you_ have a _better_ idea!?" Exclaimed Tallest Purple. He was actually hoping there was an alternative to all that activity.

Lard-nar didn't; he just didn't like having to agree with his enemies, and right now his tolerance was at a low ebb. "Let's just get going." He said in a low voice, trudging off in a singluar direction.

Seeing that the arguement was over, Shloonktapooxis said, "Alright! Then let's form a line, Ladies and Gentlemen and, uh, Others! Let's get this show on the road!" His little tail twitched to point the way and wiggled at the last line.

Tak turned away and started leading the group, now consisting of herself, Shloonktapooxis, the two Tallests, Sploods, Lard-nar, Agent Nessie, Crystal, Vrilly, Clasps, and Lasch-mik. On the way, Tak pointed out the dangerous, hulking plant-monsters which hid slightly underground to blend in so they could attack passersby. But what they didn't know was that avoiding them meant falling prey to even more painful dangers.

Hiking through the jungle was long and arduous; the going was bad enough when they had some kind of path, but now there was no discernable path and it kept getting thicker. Hiding behind some bright green ferns with smooth leaves from the flying bird-thing, they breathed a sigh of relief as the bird passed over. But some other surprisingly similar bird-like sounds were sounding from deep in the jungle all around them.

"Okay, this is _just great_!" Exclaimed Lard-nar sarcastically. "Just what in the heck are we doing!?"

"What are you talking about!?" Yelled an annoyed Sploods.

"We _really_ should be slashing our way out of here! Or something like that! What about using lasers to make a hole in this dense, thickness!" Replied Lard-nar.

"And _THEN_ we'll end up getting attacked by _who knows what's_ out there!" Exclaimed Vrilly.

"Yeah,_ great_, that sounds like a _great_ idea!" Mumbled Tak in the front. "Just keep _moving_, everybody!"

Despite everyone's annoyances and bickering, they were making good time, until Lard-nar complained about something biting him on the leg. "Yeowch! What _WAS_ that!?"

"What was what, honey?" Asked his mother with sincere concern.

"I think something just _bit_ me on the _leg_!" Replied Lard-nar, stopping to bend down and look at it.

"I'm sure it was just some little bug; come _on_, people, we have to keep going!" Groaned Sploods, completely ignoring his pain.

"Ouwch!" Lard-nar exclaimed as he looked at the now-green-lump growing on his leg. "_That_ doesn't look good..."

"Then it's a good thing I was in medical science," replied his mother, as she observed it. "It doesn't appear to be infected; but its color is most peculiar...!"

"That's one of the worst things I've heard you say," Lard-nar replied, referring to the fact that she only used the words, "most peculiar" when it was something serious.

"Oh, don't worry; it's just that I have no idea what this is! That's all," replied his mother, as if it was no big deal and that he shouldn't be worried. He, being her son, was doubly worried, now.

"Come _ON_!" Said Sploods once again in annoyance. Then, suddenly, they heard Clasps shout.

"Ow!"

"What's wrong?!" Asked the two who were closest to her, Vrilly and Crystal.

"I think I got bit by something," she replied, somewhat worried.

"Ah!" Yelled Sploods, "I got bit, too!"

"Man!" Shouted Vrilly, "These little bitey-things are EVERYWHERE!"

"I'm getting bit, and I'm not even sure how they're managing to _do_ it!" Exclaimed Crystal, whose crystalline structure was surely a deterrent to most insect bitey-things.

Pretty soon everyone was dancing around, getting bit; all except for Tak and Shloonktapooxis, who looked on with surprise. "Huh! Now that's new and interesting!" Said Shloonktapooxis, staring at the group behind them who were looking sufficiently menaced by the little biting things.

"I think that maybe we shouldn't have tried to skirt those other plant-monsters," replied Tak as she contemplated the current situation. It was odd that only she and Shloonktapooxis were unaffected, and the only difference she could see was that they'd been almost absorbed/eaten/torn apart by those plant-like creatures they'd encountered on their trek to find the group. The saliva/juices from those things was probably acting as a little-bitey-things-repellent.

But before she could say something to potentially help the rest of the group out of this painful predicament, some green goo-ish slipping monster dashed out of the dense thicket around them and swished past. Jumping back, both Tak and Shloonktapooxis stared in beweilderment as it happened. "What in the HECK!?"

There was a faint sense of danger coming from either side -turning back to the group, both Tak and Shloonktapooxis said, "EVERYBODY, RUUUUN!" before the strange creatures began their all-out attack.

Although they couldn't see them, the said creatures were about six feet tall and had a slick green outer skin; it was so slick, it almost looked slimy. They seemed to have little eyes of varying colors, number, and placements on the front of their heads, but they didn't seem very good at using them. Their mouths were wide and large, about like a "Yup Yup" muppet's mouth. Or a frog, whichever one you can picture more easily. They seemed about as intelligent as a large animal, but their hunting style could best be described as like a wolf-pack.

They charged after the group and continued chasing them, trying to wear them down until they could pick them off, one by one. Grabbing out with its six arms, one almost got Agent Nessie and Lard-nar, who'd stayed behind to make sure the rest of the group made it. (That was greatly appreciated by Agent Nessie, who by this time was very worn out; he wasn't used to this kind of activity, he was a pharmacist in Scotland, dang-it!)

As they ran faster, someone managed to pull out a gun of some kind and blast one of the green creatures. It barely singed it, but unlike a relentless wolf-pack, these creatures high-tailed it out of there. Huh. There was an audible, low-toned howl coming out of the jungle around them, and a couple of members of the group briefly wondered how the others were doing.

* * *

Back with the others...

As for the other half of the group, the Shelter Group, they'd found a whole new kettle of fish to fry in... Wait a minute, that doesn't make sense...!

The group's relaxation, previously broken by the large bird-thing, was now converted into terrified hiding -which was once again broken by the forces of nature. Those "forces" in question being a very large "Soil Monster", that seemed to think that they were "annoying squatters" who wouldn't pay rent!...

It didn't help that some of them were hiding underneath the Soil Monster's prized Space Azaelias...

The small group of Dib, Vick, Throbulator, Ploopoh, Tarky, and Starky, ran off after the Soil Monster roared, sending little bits of sharp rocks hurtling towards them. Thankfully, they managed to avoid most of them, with the exception of Dib -who took the most damage. To his head. In his defense, the Soil Monster seemed the most perterbed at him, because he kept asking it questions.

In Dib's defense, it really wasn't the first time a dirt-dwelling thingy was hurtling rocks at him: just the first time he'd run into one that could talk. His head also made quite the blockade for the others. It was almost as if things were drawn towards it or something...!

After running -once again!- for a heart-pounding few minutes, they ran into a fire-spurter. No, literally, there were these things, just underneath a cliff, that were spurting fire, or some kind of lava, straight up into the air! "WHAT'S WITH THIS PLAAA~AACCCEEE!?" Exclaimed Throbulator, as they skirted this and wound up hiding in some caves on the side of a cliff.

"Geeze!" Said Vick as they stopped to rest, "I almost wound up french-fried, there!"

"Yeah," grinned Starky, "And Dib wound up crisp-cut!" He pointed to Dib's hair, which was still smoking from where the fire-spurter's sparks had singed him. He frowned at this and rubbed his head in the dirt, hoping to put it out.

"Ulgh!" Said Vick, in a sudden epiphany, "I just realized, that taking a bath on _this_ planet is REALLY going to suck!"

The other aliens just blinked, hoping she'd explain herself. They hated making assumptions about other species; waaaayyy too many wars started out like that. So if a "bath" wasn't what they thought it was, then...that'd be awkward. Terribly.

"Woah! Yeah, I never thought of that!" Exclaimed Dib, "I mean, even if we can find a body of water large enough, how are we gonna' get soap?!"

The mention of "soap" made everything clear to the others, who nodded their heads in agreement. "Oooh! Yeah, that's gonna' suck!" Agreed Tarky.

"Throbulator! Thinks it's a good idea to start looking for things to use to clean ourselves with," commented said Throbulator, as he looked around at the shining rocks and crystals which were lining the walls of their little cave. Just like most caves with an outside access large enough to accomodate a body, this one was quite shallow. He hoped they could possibly find some kind of "Jeulicious Rock Crystals", like the kind from planet Juicilious, which people frequently used to scrub themselves with. It wasn't likely, but, hey! It was worth a try~!

"Good idea," said Dib, as he put a hand to his chin and thought about what they could use to do that.

"Phhphhh...! Yeah, let's keep a look out," agreed Starky, who was growing visibly more tired by the second.

Vick eyed him, but instead decided to look around the cave. She didn't care enough to actually bother with his exhaustion. Quite frankly, they were _all_ tired, and she didn't like the idea of staying here on this planet longer than a week and a half. Though the possibility of it was quite large, at this rate.

Ploopoh was also of this similar frame of mind when he stated, "I bet there's _lots_ of things we're going to miss," then, looking out the cave, he said, "That blob-woman thing will be particularly annoyed at that..."

The others looked up, but didn't say anything, besides Dib, who didn't know when a subject was best not to be questioned. "What? Why?!"

Throbulator took the opportunity to smack him upside the head, although he usually wouldn't.

"What?!" Asked Dib, rubbing the back of his head. It didn't hurt as much physically as it did emotionally. "All I said was-!" It was then that Starky took the chance to shove a rock into his mouth, and the others giggled at this. Vick came walking back from the small tunnel to their left, and smirked when she saw this.

"What's the matter, Dib, rock got your tongue?" Smirked Vick as she squeezed back into the crowded cave. Dib just glared at this.

"'What's it like back there?" Asked Throbulator, glad to have a change of conversation from the awkward.

Vick shook her head, "It gets even smaller as it goes on -you'd have to be either a contortionist or a _squid_ to get through there!" The others nodded and sighed.

A rumbling occurred just then, and they all tensed up and looked around. Soon, the rocks around them started glowing, and the one inside Dib's mouth squirbled until it rose to a high-pitched "squeak!" at which point he pulled it out of his mouth in shock and amazement. But that soon turned to horror as they realized that the cave around them was changing.

Not wasting a moment to find out whether or not it was dangerous, they rushed out just in time to witness the cliffside becoming the shape of a fist, shaking angrily at them. The little rock which had been inside Dib's mouth was squirbling in a somewhat sobbing sound, and they witnessed the cave-face morph closed until their previous hiding-place was soon transformed into a sheer, unscalable cliff-face once again. They all decided that leaving was the best option.

* * *

The combined Food Group and Stay-there-and-make-a-fire Group were also having quite the time, hiking in the jungle as they made their way unknowingly to their campsite where the Soil Monster lived.

The first one to notice that something was wrong was Agent Nessie, although he wasn't in the front of the group. "Hey, guys...? Aren't there supposed to be..." he didn't finish his sentence as someone turned to look him right in the face.

"What?!" Said Clasps in a deep, gruff voice that he'd never heard before. And it was, frankly, quite frightening. But besides that...

"I'm -actually, there's no one there...I mean, I can see the bulbous, horrendously-ugly rocks that they were talking about, but no one's there!..." his ability to get over the shock of Clasps' deep-throated voice was quite impressive. Even moreso when she began howling!

"I'm sure there's a r_eally_ good explanation for it~! No need to howl in depression~!" Lasch-mik comforted her gently, along with Vrilly.

"You're RIGHT!" Exclaimed Lard-nar as he looked around.

They had now reached the camp-site, and everyone who was supposed to be there, was not. Tak just growled and looked around mentally.

"Maybe they went off to get something...?" Said Clasps in a slightly higher voice, more like her normal one.

Just as she'd said this, Tak had recieved "DANGER!" warnings from Dib, and the ground shook as the Soil Monster rose up.

"Just WHAT in the HECK is _WITH_ EVERYBODY TODAY?! Bothering an OLD MAN when he's SLEEPING?!"

The small little group decided that it'd be much better to run -off in a direction not that different than the one the Shelter Group had taken.

* * *

Back with the Shelter Group...

They had taken an altogether different route from the one they had earlier. Thus, they were quite surprised when they found themselves heading back in the direction of the cliff with the fire-spurts, but on the other side across the canyon. It was a narrow trail, right up against a mountain, the same one with the cave they'd tried hiding in earlier. Considering that it was in the complete OPPOSITE direction...this was confusing and weird!

"Hey!" Exclaimed Vick, "Weren't we just here...?"

"I'm getting a strange feeling of having been here before..." commented Ploopoh.

"I think we just went in circles!" Exclaimed Starky.

"You and me, _both_!" Replied Tarky.

"Okay, okay! Let's just get our bearings," replied Dib, for once taking charge of something. He'd been in these kinds of situations before -times when certain paranormal phenomenon would change the surrounding lanscape, or trap you in a vision of a maze of some sort, to keep you trapped or confused. He also knew that the mountain they were standing beside could morph to change shape. "We already _know_ what way we were going -I mean, the sun's in the same place!" He pointed to said solar orb hovering just above the tree-tops as it was setting.

"But what does that have to do with anything!?" Panicked Tarky. He wouldn't say it, but he _really_ didn't like being led around in circles with no way out, and he was also so tired he couldn't stand himself.

"What I MEAN, is that the MOUNTAIN can MOVE!" Exclaimed Dib, less-than patient, and also tired.

"But, that means that it's been changing! Forcing us to walk this way!" Exclaimed Throbulator, though more modulated in tones than when he was just shouting his own name. _(A/N: Am I the only one who's imagining Throbulator singing Aerosmith's "Walk This Way", now?)_

"Right! Then that means that it must WANT us to go this way!" Added Vick, holding a finger up victoriously.

"Exactly!" Said Dib, "This direction only leads along the edge; and those flame-spurts down the edge of the cliff are obviously dangerous...so...I guess that means it wants to get rid of us...?" He put a hand to his chin as he thought, not considering how panicked he was making the others.

"But I think I see something up ahead like a little ledge; maybe we could use that thing to get across this canyon?" Asked Ploopoh, before Tarky could freak out over what Dib said.

"What?!" Asked both Dib and Vick as they spun around to look where he was pointing. Sure enough, there was a ledge poking out, just close enough for even the short-legged ones of their group to make a good leap across it.

"Well," stated Throbulator, "At least it's not vindictive." He said this about the Mountain creature-thing which was apparently messing with them. There was a bit of silence, then Starky spoke up before anyone else could.

"I say we go that way."

Taking a look around the group, they gradually sighed and agreed to give it a chance.

It was only a short walk before they reached the ledge, although it had seemed much longer to begin with. They reached it and looked down before venturing to cross it. They also had to play "Rock, Paper, Scissors," to decide who went first. That didn't go too well... Finally, Ploopoh decided to step up, since he had hooves and could probably jump a lot farther than the others could.

It was all going well -most of the group had made it across the small, little two-foot gap- until there came the weirdest sounds.

Something like the rush of wind and shrieks, then followed by blue blobs, about the size of a dodge-ball, and the raining down of said blue blobs... It was strangely horrifying...but they didn't bother with the semantics, as absolutely EVERYTHING on this planet seemed either ready or willing to kill them...and they didn't take any chances. They raced off in one singular direction.

They took no notice where they were going until...

*WHAM!*

They hit and became entangled in another group, running from what could be considered a rather similar and familiar predicament.

They tossed and rolled around, until finally righting themselves to find both the Soil Monster and the blue blobs surrounding them.

"YOU guys!" Exclaimed Ploopoh.

"Oh, good..." mumbled Agent Nessie.

"You're here!" Exclaimed Tallest Red, before the combined growling of both the Soil Monster and the Blue Blobs caused them all to cohesively think, 'Oh, _great_~!'

"Uhm, guys..." said Vick, nervously. "I think we should run...!"

Nobody had time to say anything else, snide or not, when the Soil Monster and Blue Blobs charged. Everyone dove out of the way, hoping the two sides would keep each other occupied whilest they split up. Eventually everyone found each other again as they started running around in circles: first from those mysterious green, slick creatures which attacked them from the jungle as they were running.

Second, they almost went over the edge of the cliff as they ran from them, just narrowly avoiding the fall. They didn't even realize what happened to the Soil Monster, because they were too busy putting as much space between themselves and their attackers as they could.

The next incident was completely unpredictable.

The Slick Green Creatures ran head-first into the Soil Monster's mouth, for some strange reason. Then the Blue Blobs followed them...but they didn't go into the Soil Monster's mouth. Instead, the Soil Monster seemed angered and enraged by them, and an epic, un-seen battle ensued! Which none of the group of aliens noticed. It involved some sort-of fire-power being utilized on the part of the Soil Monster by shooting the half-eaten parts of the Slick, Green Creatures at the Blue Blobs.

The eventual quieting down occurred once the Soil Monster was led into the firey-spurts and half-burnt. After that, he went around in circles until he collapsed; then expelled a gas that smelt slightly like fresh oxygen and burnt sunflowers. The group of aliens stopped running for their lives long enough to see the Soil Monster collapse and then... The Blue Blobs came and ate everything inside except for the bones, which formed a perfect over-hanging shelter.

Everyone just stared and blinked at it. The remaining few of the Slick Green Creatures moaned at their fellows' loss, but then retired.

After that, it started raining.

Which wouldn't have been so bad for at least a couple of the species in their group; with the exception that...

Apparently, on this planet, the rain made EVERYONE burn!

Jumping up and down, the unanimous thought finally occurred to them to run and hide underneath the inexplicable shelter.

"SHEEESH!" Exclaimed Vick, shaking off some of the painful water-droplets. They felt painful and tingly...for some strange reason, they also reminded her of some make-up she used to own...

Agent Nessie sat down and sighed. "Acidic WATER! What else can go-" once he saw that everyone was staring at him, horrified, he said, "...right?" The others sighed and collapsed.

Dib and Tak had sufficiently forgotten about their previous "fight", whatever it was, and Dib was mentally pestering Tak for scanner readings. "AAARRRGE!" Exclaimed Tak in aggravation, for all the reasons we can think of. "The stuff falling from the sky must be-"

"It smells like Hydrogen Peroxide," interrupted Vrilly; though no one seemed to care at this point. Though a few -the humans, primarily- did wonder about how she could smell without a nose. She had a nose, but it was a fake, strap-on one. Not really useful at all for olfactory sense.

"Yes." Finished Tak, putting away the scanner. "It's at about 28 percent; it looks like we won't be going out in it any time soon."

The others blinked, stared, and gulped -or whatever their species did when nervous- respectively.

"That does explain those pure puddles of water," Agent Nessie spoke up.

"What?" Asked Vick, "Why is that again? It reminded me of that, too...but I don't know why."

"It's just unstable -Hydrogen Peroxide is usually unstable- and it'll typically lose its extra oxygen molecule, becoming pure water." Replied Dib succinctly. He was too tired to go rambling on; plus, the explanation really didn't call for that.

"Oh, right! That was what!" Replied Vick.

"Didn't Professor Membrane do a show on that? 'Hydrogen Peroxide -The Killer of Chemists!'" Said Agent Nessie thoughtfully.

Dib smirked at this -it did sound awfully familiar- "Yeah, I guess. It was a while ago, though...the whole chemistry set was in the early seasons..." he put a hand to his chin thoughtfully. It'd been a while since he'd thought about this.

"Not that this whole conversation is without its merits..." began Lard-nar, "But, what are we going to do, now?"

"AAARRRGGGEEE!" Exclaimed the Almighty Tallest. Both were flopped over in different positions -Purple leaning forward onto his knees, and Red flopped back on the rocks they were sitting on. "WHO CARES!?" Exclaimed Tallest Red.

"Yeah!" Echoed Tallest Purple weakly.

"We're never getting OUT of here with all that- that- whatever! Falling out there!" Tallest Red announced, flailing an arm weakly.

"Yeah, and I'm too tired to run, now!" Replied Vrilly.

"I think my legs have had more than enough of a stretch," agreed Lasch-mik.

"I'm tired, my clothes are torn up, and all I really want are some snacks we don't have here!" Exclaimed Sploods irritably. "I'm en-TIRELY sick of this."

"I was just getting to enjoy my leg-stretch," bragged Lard-nar, although he was also extremely exhausted. Dib's next comment soon popped his little pride-bubble.

"Good! Then you can stand watch while we nap!" He found himself a reasonably smooth spot on the ground and curled up. He was far more than exhausted!

Tak wandered over to a somewhat secluded corner and thought about the current predicament -her own, rather. Her intense contemplation nagged at the back of Dib's mind, so he replied to it.

'Goodnight, Tak! Maybe tomorrow you can tell me why you're so ticked, huh?' Thought Dib as his eyes closed.

'We can talk right now. Just as long as your reactions to what I'm going to say are calm.' Replied Tak. She wasn't so worried and irritated with him anymore -and even willing to talk. That sort of thing came with exhaustion.

'Mmm. Okay. I guess.' Dib's eyes were fluttering, trying to stay open.

'Do you remember what happened after I left?' Asked Tak carefully, leading him in.

'No. What happened?' Thought Dib, half-asleep by now. He couldn't remember anything about after she left... And his mind was fogging up with the mist of sleep.

'Nevermind, you're already half-asleep,' replied Tak with an almost disappointed sigh.

Their short little conversation took only a few seconds. Meanwhile, the rest of the group was getting comfotable. Throbulator had already found his little rock to lay a portion of his large, brainy-head on. While he did this, Lasch-mik and Vrilly took it upon themselves to make a fire with the small bits of stuff they could find lying around. The others instantly assembled around it, and Clasps contemplated melting into small little puddles for her resting...but decided it would be too weird while most of the others were awake.

The group barely talked until gradually conversation died completely and the sun disappeared behind the jungle-covered horizon.

The first day was over. Now came the first night.

* * *

END CHAPTER 1

* * *

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

AUTHOR'S NOTES: There'll be a lot more happening in the next chapters to come, really! And, they probably won't be quite as long as they were in "PSYCH-OUT!", so you won't be bogged down with all that reading.

The only down-side of this is that I haven't exactly gotten all the chapters written up yet, and so you'll have to wait a little bit longer in between updates. (I've been updating so regularly nowadays, that it'll seem like a drag to have to do that again, won't it? *Laughs* Anyways, I'll try my best to update as regularly as possible, since I already have the main gist down of how this story goes~!

CHARACTERS:

The characters...I don't know, really! Only eleven of them are actually canon, and...well, really, I don't know where my head was when it came up with the rest! Really! Seriously, we only see Agent Tuna Ghost and Agent Nessie in shadows, although we hear their voices. I made up pictures of what they would look like, sos you can peek at my Deviant Art page for those.

Then there's Sploods, who, honestly, only has a walk-on role in "Battle of the Planets", and there he's just whispering to Tallest Red, "His name is Invader Skoodge." He's just credited as "Advisor", sos I gave him a name! I love that name...! *Giggles*

Also, SHLOONKTAPOOXIS ROOOCKS! *Laughs* That is all...!

Then there's Crystal and Throbulator, from "Hobo 13" (my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE episode EVER!) and they didn't really have much to do, either...! *Sighs* In any case, I'm trying to keep to their original personalities, but, uh...IT'S KIND-OF HARD WHEN THEY HAVE ALMOST NO PARTS! *Sighs* ANYWAYS...!

And... Don't even ASK me where in the HECK Lard-nar's MOM came from! *Laughs* Because, I'm pretty sure, that even if it is my own mind...I DON'T WANT TO KNOW! ...Yeah. But, it gives me a good chance to play around with the Vortians, you know, adding to the very VAGUE concepts that we already have about their race! *Laughs evilly* I SHALL MOLD THEM TO MY LIKING! Er-! *Looks around* Nevermind~!... *Whistles nonchalantly.*

I'll write more about the made-up characters in the next chapter's notes!

And, THE GOONIES REFERENCES WILL NEVER EEENNNDDD! *Laughs evilly* MWA HA HA HA HAAAAAAA! (Okay, no, seriously! I just love making those little "Goonies" references~!)


	2. Blah Blah Blah

Disclaimer: I still don't own it, although what I would do with it if I did...! *Evil laughter* ...Anyways, they still won't get the stink out of their overalls!...

AUTHOR'S NOTES: The next chapters will actually be rather short, compared to "PSYCH-OUT!"'s chapters~! *Laughs* Well, these will be rather random and still, mostly, well, maybe with that whole, "whatever in the heck we called it romance" undertone that I've officially established with the previous stories...!

This chapter is still pretty long, though... I really couldn't tell where this chapter would end and where it would begin, so where it ends is where I finally decided that it was time for the end of it! Anyhow, the main point is...that...conversations are fun and the interactions between the characters have helped me to get to know them, and I hope they'll help you, too!

Believe me, if _anything_ was needed, it was to get to know who in the heck all these alien people are!

In any case, EXPECT MORE FUN AND HORRIFYING MADE-UP ALIEN STUFFS! Yaaayyyy!

* * *

**CHAPTER 2: "What Have I Told You About -Oh! Well, Okay, Honey, You Can Eat Them."**

* * *

It was about the middle of the night when Dib awoke. "Mmm...!" He rubbed his eyes underneath those "Stay-on Glasses" that his dad had made for him. Apparently his father had had the exact same problem with keeping his glasses on -and unbroken- when he was a kid. "What time is it...?" Dib asked when he noticed that it was still night-time.

After several responses pertaining to differing measurements of time, Agent Nessie finally responded, "It's about 4 O'clock. Whatever THAT means. You've probably been asleep for about seven hours."

"Oh. Okay..." Replied Dib succinctly, looking around. Since to him it was morning, he wanted something to eat. "Is there any of that food left?"

"Yeah, I think there might be some. We're gonna' have to go hunting for more in the morning." Replied Vick. She and Vrilly had taken to hanging out together and exchanging horrible dating stories; so the group was glad when the tide of entertainment changed. Not that they had any energy or motivation to change it themselves.

Dib rifled through the heavily-guarded sack beside the group consisting of three Irkens, Lard-nar, and Shloonktapooxis. Apparently, nobody trusted the other with it. This made for a rather hilarious scene of five people consistently glaring at and ignoring each other, with random insults traded when they thought the other wasn't looking... But Dib was too hungry to care about it.

The "safe for humans" stuff was apparently in the left armpit of Agent Nessie's coat. There could be a comment made about that...but, again, he didn't care.

'Put on too much weight, and I'm _not_ carrying you out of here,' thought Tak to him just as he was prepared to bite into a particularly delicious-looking piece of fruit. Dib glared and took a short glance around, but couldn't spot her. 'I'm over on the other side of the fire -keeping a lookout.' Replied Tak to his curious mind.

'Well, I've been _running_ all day, plus I've slept, so I don't think I'm putting on weight any time soon,' he thought, still confused as to why she was in such a mood. He took a giant bite and instantly wished he'd peeled it, first... It tasted nasty! He pulled it out of his mouth and ate the insides off the peel. 'Okay, taste-test reveals that this stuff needs to be peeled, first! Nuyuchi!'

'What's "nuyuchi"?' Asked Tak in confusion.

'Nothing, just wondering what that sound I just made would look like spelled out... Apparently, it looks like, "nuyuchi"!' Replied Dib as he picked apart the peel and carefully avoided the seeds inside. Seeds could be dangerous, sometimes...

'If I wanted cheap humor and disgusting eating-habits, I'd have stayed with the others,' thought Tak with an annoyed sting. He glared at that, but said nothing. She'd been bizarrely ticked at him, and he probably didn't even want to know what had upset her so.

"Hey! If you're gonna' pick it apart and be all gross and stuff, do it elsewhere!" Exclaimed Tallest Red. Tallest Purple was showing a highly-annoyed grimace, perturbed at having to watch yet another alien with unusual eating-habits.

Dib glared at them, then remembered Tak was able to hear his thoughts and responses; so he grabbed some of the fruit and moved away, back towards the fire. He plopped down next to Agent Nessie and Throbulator, glad to have some half-way decent company.

"Hey...that reminds me, why do you guys take that peel off of those large, light-green ploppole fruit?" Asked Throbulator in a curiously low tone. He obviously was more subdued, since it was night-time. (The term "ploppole" had been coined, because it took Tallest Red forcing Tallest Purple to float up to the top of the pole-like tree it grew on to shake it before it "plopped" down on him!)

"Huh?" Asked Agent Nessie, shocked, and thinking he was talking to him, because he'd been staring off into the fire in thought.

"Huh?" Echoed Dib; but at least he had an answer for him, "Duh! Because it tastes AWFUL!"

"Oh," Throbulator's reply was calm, relieved of his heavy curiosity.

"Say," asked Vrilly, "Vick and I were wondering...do _all_ of your brainy-headed species have no skulls?! Or is it just you?"

Throbulator glared that sort of pout when one has heard a particular stereotypical comment all-too-often. "_Actually_, unlike other species, we don't even need skulls, as you have them: our outer-membrane which surrounds the brain is tough, yet pliable, somewhat like cartilage. We call it, 'Phlibble-skorpfhshchs'! But, most people can't pronounce that. So they just say 'phlibble', _not_ to be confused with the popular fruit-beverage!"

"Oooh~hh!" Exclaimed Vrilly.

"Well! I guess it CAN work that way!" Replied Vick, referring to her earlier conversation of theories with Vrilly.

"There's a popular fruit-beverage named 'phlibble'?' Asked Dib, now interested.

"Well, it's spelled with an 'f', not a 'phlibble'," replied Throbulator, with a bit of a smirk at that old joke.

Dib gave him a confused look, but it was Nessie that spoke, "What?"

"It's an old joke. It was a commercial;" was all the explanation Throbulator had to give them.

"Oh," came the unanimous response of Agent Nessie, Vick, and Vrilly.

"Hey, Vrilly," said Vick, "How come your species doesn't come to Earth when you're so close?" After learning that Vrilly's scarily human-like species lived just in adjacent arm of the Milky-way Galaxy, and that they were capable of deep-space travel, it was a question that had irked her. _(A/N: I LOVE making that pun~!)_

"Oh, we _have_ come to Earth!" Exclaimed Vrilly somewhat mischievously, "In faaa~ct, there was a very popular story which was inspired by one of us...well, at least, one character in it was!"

"Really?!" Now both Agent Nessie and Vick were paying full attention. Dib, on the other hand, was patiently waiting for her to continue as he wolfed down the rest of his food.

"Haven't you ever heard of, 'Alice in Wonderland'?" Asked Vrilly with that same somewhat mischievous smirk. "I'm pretty sure 'Alice in Wonderland' was a popular book."

"WHAT?!" Exclaimed both Nessie and Vick, and Dib was now leaning over, his face bulging from the food, cheeks looking chipmunk-like.

"Mm-hmm! The character of the 'Mad Hatter' was based on someone who...er, let's just say that he, uh...didn't do a very good job of reviewing Earth culture before he visited!" Then Vrilly laughed, "I was actually attending a Stories Convention when I was unexpectedly abducted! So, eh, I guess I'll have to put my cosplay to the ultimate test, huh? Hah hah hah!"

"Wait, 'cosplay'?! You were at a COMICS CONVENTION?!" Exclaimed Nessie.

"HEY! Does this mean that Lewis Carroll's stories were inspired by ALIENS?!" Exclaimed Vick, completely ignoring Nessie.

"NO! _Of course not_! Just the Mad Hatter!" Explained Vrilly in some annoyance. "And," she added after a moment of giving Agent Nessie's comment some thought, "It wasn't a 'comics convention' because it wasn't so genre-specific. We don't get so genre-specific with our entertainment on Haut. That's why it was just a 'STORIES Convention'!" Agent Nessie looked deflated after his fun conspiracy-theory had been popped.

"Oh." He said and pouted.

"So, wait, wasn't your species the 'Huffer-haut'?" Asked Vick curiously.

"Yes, but it means, literally, 'The people of Haut', and our planet's _name_ is Haut." Replied Vrilly with some annoyance. She knew very well that they had no way of knowing this, but...well, it still got irritating!

"The Huffer-haut species are some of the oldest-known sentient species in the galaxy," said Ploopoh as he'd come over to sit by them. Though the others were either resting or standing watch, he looked like he'd just woken up and was willing to join in the fun. "And by 'sentient', we usually mean, 'space-faring'."

"Yeah," replied Vrilly, eager to set any record straight about them, "And, although we'd absolutely _LOVE_ to come over and greet everybody, since there were, ehhhnuh! some wars, and stuff, we kind-of had to make these totally strict _rules_ about who and who not to approach on other planets...such as yours." She didn't feel like elaborating on anything, because, quite frankly, it was embarrassing!

"Yeah, those wars were really _stupid_, weren't they?!" Exclaimed Ploopoh rudely. "I mean, WHOOH! You just NEVER KNOW who's going to come back and bite you in the FRIENDLY-PANTS after you meet with them!" Ploopoh's lack of tact apparently knew no bounds.

"Mmm~iiigh!" Moaned Vrilly, "My species doesn't LIKE any kind of interplanetary violence; not after that _last_ 'fight to the finish'! And so, it's only natural that we'd be...eh, a little more _friendly_ than _others_ are!"

"What last 'fight to the finish'?!" Asked Dib in excited confusion.

"Well...it's not really clear on who started it, but...all we know, is that there was this giant, INTERGALACTIC WAR, just because someone defaulted on some agreement! The entire thing ended up echoed into the ENTIRE galaxy, and BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, some _stupids_ have taken sides and decided that, 'HEY! We've got to make sure that NO ONE ELSE defauts on any of OUR AGREEMENTS, and PUNISH ALL THOSE THAT DO OR HAVE DONE SO!'" Vrilly took a deep breath in order to continue.

"It was r_eally stupid_! ANYWAYS, when the whole thing was said and done, our people were so fed up with _war_, that we decided to teach ourselves how to be accepting and polite, basic common courtesy and decency! And so...yeah! Well, we _are_ pretty well-liked, at least as far as we know of, in the universe: that's ONE good thing that came of that fight!" She sighed and rolled her eyes, fully cognizent of how horrible that sounded. Of course, it _was_!

"HEY!" Exclaimed Ploopoh, "_I_ recognize that! It was that one intergalactic war that left a TON of planets practically lifeless!"

"Yeah!" Replied Vrilly again, "Of course, it was _so_ long ago, most species nowadays don't even _remember_ it!"

"Mm-hmm!" Nodded Ploopoh.

"Are you guys talking about the giant, intergalactic war that happened over a million years ago?" Asked Lard-nar, now interested as he came over to sit by them. (Keep in mind that their measurement of "years" is different than ours.)

"Yeah," replied Vrilly. This habit was annoying, so she decided to stop replying "yeah" to absolutely everything... For fear others found it annoying and thusly tried to stop it.

"What WAS that war?!" Asked Agent Nessie in annoyance. They were pretty left-out.

"Oh, you wouldn't know of it, since your species is so young," replied Vrilly simply.

"Yeah, _we_ don't even remember that time!" Replied Ploopoh, referring to his own people.

"Our people were also quite young; not really even capable of space-travel at that point!" Added Lard-nar with a shake of his head, "Of course, we'd _heard_ about it -it's pretty easy to hear things when you've got your ears tuned to the skies!"

"At what age was the Universe at that point?" Asked Vrilly, now completely ignoring the question from poor, confused, Agent Nessie.

"I think it would've been about...the Lulveu point..." replied Lard-nar thoughtfully. Sploods had come over to see what everybody was talking about, and was annoyed that there was nothing to correct him on.

"Oh, right!" Replied Vrilly just as thoughtfully.

"Wait, you guys calculated the age of the Universe? What kind of measurements did you use?" Asked Vick, glad to get in on the conversation, and feeling a little annoyed that the Earthlings had been left out of it. Even up to the point of helping out Agent Nessie's comment!

"Erm!" Said Vrilly, unsure of how to explain it.

"It's really more in the way of epochs, mostly," mumbled Lard-nar.

"Yeah, it's epochs," agreed Ploopoh.

"Then, WHAT are all the epochs?!" Asked Nessie, still annoyed.

"Hhhrrmm...do you...want all 900,000 of them? Or just the ones we're talking about?" Asked Lard-nar as he rubbed his chin, his eyes skyward in thought.

"AT LEAST let us have some sort of estimate as to when that stinkin' WAR was!" Exclaimed Vick, exhausperated.

"Oh! Right, well... There were approximately four besides this one, so, uh..." Lard-nar trailed off, and Vrilly finished for him.

"He means that the giant, intergalactic war was in the Lulveu epoch, then came the Foosh, -that was a small one- and the Salivarsz, which is when most of the species here were capable of traveling to other planets. The Irken Empire rose to power in the Faushsy -another small epoch- and, finally, there's _you_," she turned to look at the Earthlings, "of the Earran epoch. The name of the current epoch is still under debate, though..." Vrilly trailed off, and Lard-nar took this opportunity to talk, since she'd stolen his explanation -not as if he'd do any better- in fact, he would've done awful. He wasn't a very good teacher...

_(Pronunciation: "Lulveu" is "Lulv"; "Salivarsz" is "Sal-i-varz"; "Faushsy" is "Fawsh-sy"; and "Earran" sounds like the names "Erin", or "Aaron".)_

"Though most people still think that we're in the Earran epoch, I believe, that with the current changes made with the Resisty's efforts," Sploods scoffed, but Lard-nar continued on, "We should call this, the 'Tide-oh' epoch!"

"Like the 'tides of change', huh?" Mumbled Agent Nessie, still deep in thought.

"Like the tides of what?" Asked most of the other aliens, with the exception of Vrilly, who'd heard this phrase before.

"HAH! As if _that's_ ever going to happen!" Replied Sploods with a haughty laugh. "What_ exactly_ have _you stupid Resisty_ guys done?!"

The Almighty Tallests had now joined the group, forcing Tak to guard the food-sack. "Yeah! THAT'S almost as stupid as _your name_!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple as he floated up. Tallest Red added his two cents in as well.

"_Whatever_ made you think to name it after that guy who did that _stupid_ break-out on Vort's prison?!"

"Well, he WAS one of the FIRST ones who had the GUTS to STAND UP TO THE STUPID NEW PRISON-SYSTEM!" Exclaimed Lard-nar, standing up now and shaking his fist at them. They just regarded him with cool eyes and countered.

"Yeah, but he DIED!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple.

"That _kind-of_ puts a damper on the whole, 'hero' ideal," agreed Tallest Red.

"Actually, wouldn't that just make him a _martyr_?" Asked Vick easily. She and Nessie felt woefully uninformed and left out, but she did know a thing or two about human history that made it pretty easy to join in the intellectual reparte`.

"YOU foolish meat-lings, STAY OUT OF IT!" Exclaimed Tallests Red and Purple, both amazingly in-sync. Making everyone who thought that they were identical twins think about it even more.

"NO!" Exclaimed Throbulator, who'd been strangely quiet, and was now back up to his usual loud tones, "We should hear what THEY have to say!"

"Yeah! They're new to the intergalactic stage, but I think they need a say!" Replied Lard-nar thoughtfully. Then he pointed at Agent Nessie and said, "YOU! What do you think about an alien race who goes around and_ invades_ other planets, converting them into whatever they wish, and basically ENSLAVING their native people!"

"Oh, COME ON!" Exclaimed Tallest Red, "You're not SLAVES, just, uh...not allowed to make many job-changes! But you DO get paid!"

"Well, I don't feel _too much_ like a slave," admitted Throbulator. "I even trained on Hobo 13 to raise my rank in the military."

"We're not enslaved; we were smart enough to put two and two together and make a deal with them!" Replied Ploopoh.

"SO did WE!" Exclaimed Lard-nar, then he turned to the Tallest, "But, APPARENTLY, with Operation Impending Doom II, that DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE!"

"Woooah woah woah!" Tallest Purple waved his hands in front of him, "It's _not_ as if we had it down in _writing_!"

"IT WAS ON INTERGALACTIC TELEVISION!" Exclaimed Lard-nar, almost pulling his head-thingies, "WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT!? A _SONG AND DANCE_ NUMBER!?"

"Ooh! That would've been NEAT!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple approvingly, clapping his hands.

"But, according to Irken Intergalactic Code, any agreement NOT in the form of writing _can't_ be upheld! So, I'm sorry, but," Tallest Red shrugged, "It's _your_ loss!"

"The CONTRACT was written AND SIGNED by absolutely EVERYONE!" Exclaimed Lard-nar, "You can't TELL US that you don't HAVE IT!"

"We CAN _SO_!" Replied Tallest Purple, "Because we never GOT it! But, because nobody cared- er! It didn't seem like such a big deal, we, uh-!"

"What he's TRYING TO SAY, is that there was an INCENDIARY incident with the mail and it sort-of...got...destroyed?" Replied Tallest Red, hoping to cover up for Purple's blunder.

"HOW could it have been INCINERATED?! IT WAS MADE OF FLOO-GLON!" Exclaimed Lard-nar, now clutching at his head-things that resembled movable horns.

"Erm...! There was this PROBLEM with the MAIL and all..." began Tallest Purple.

"It was SOMEHOW thrown into our Sun...sorry about that!" Tallest Red finished, waving his hand.

"And WE suspect it was the Permanensey group that did it!" Added Purple defensively, holding up his finger.

Lard-nar just sighed, knowing full-well that ANY politicians would gladly "misplace" a contract, just so that they didn't have to live up to it. In fact, the Vortians had done that exact same thing, when their alliance with the Irkens was new and not so strong... Sighing, he looked up at them and said, much to the humans' surprise, "So...I guess that makes us even...!"

"Pretty-much!" Said Ploopoh, who was now stuffing his face with some of the food-stuffs. The others glared at him, but said nothing.

"Oh, right!" Exclaimed Lard-nar, as if he was forgetting something, "I almost forgot! We wanted the Earthlings' opinion on this!"

"Well, it's not really that fair to ask 'em," stated Vrilly in an odd turn-around. She'd been observing the rather confused looks on their faces this entire time. "I mean, they hardly even know what's going _on_!"

"I do!" Exclaimed Dib, but he was ignored, as per usual.

"No, actually, we get the general idea," replied Agent Nessie, whose attention had been grabbed at this conversation, and was raptly awake.

"Yeah, we're no strangers to wars and political intrigues," added Vick.

"They're not _exactly_ 'peaceful'..." Vrilly added, just a little bit on the tactless side. But no one else minded.

"Yeah, it's like the no one can agree on anything!" Mumbled Vick, mostly to herself.

"So, then what DO you think?!" Asked Tallest Red, annoyed with this whole thing and wanting it to be over and done.

"Well..." started Vick, unsure of where to begin. "To be honest, this sounds like some kind of plot from a science-fiction movie!"

"Yeah!" Laughed Agent Nessie. "Oh- OH! _I_ know what they remind me of!"

"What?!" Asked Vick, eager to hear what he was thinking.

"What?!" Asked Dib, who was ignored.

"Remember the Brutish Empire?!" Nessie laughed again, "They used to think that 'the sun never sets on us!'"

"Oh! Of _course_! DUH!" Laughed Dib, slapping his forehead.

"OH, RIGHT! *Laughs* I can't believe I didn't THINK of that!" Laughed Vick as well.

"Yeah... Most people didn't take it too well, and eventually they had to quit... They're still a world-power, but since everybody frowns on_ slavery_ and _conquering_ these days, well...!" Agent Nessie shrugged sheepishly, hoping that the Irkens wouldn't be insulted enough to resort to violence. Or poking...!

"_Yeah_, too many bad experiences with it," agreed Vick, "Why, after all those BLACK ZOMBIES came after people, they just-!"

"Wait, wait, wait, so...your people don't LIKE slavery?!" Asked Lard-nar eagerly.

"Oh, COME ON! That's just one viewpoint on it! You said that they're still a world-power, which means that people must RESPECT them!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple.

"Yeah! What do your people think of them, huh?!" Asked Tallest Red, pointing at the two Earthlings.

"Huh!" Said Nessie, thinking, "I guess I've never really thought of it! I mean, everyone knows the stereotypes, but, uh...!"

"Erm!... That's for sure...!" Replied Vick, nervously, hoping she wouldn't have to say anything.

"What are the stereotypes?" Asked Lard-nar with a little smirk, knowing full-well how unflattering those are.

"Well, there's the 'overly-polite' stereotype, and the 'stiff upper-lip' stereotype, but, mainly, when people think back on the Brutish Empire, they were considered..." Agent Nessie trailed off in thought.

"Well-bred?" Asked Tallest Purple hopefully.

"Strong?!" Asked Tallest Red, also hopefully.

"Cruel and merciless?!" Asked Lard-nar as well.

"What?!" Exclaimed Vick with a laugh. "Nooo! _That's_ not what!"

"THEN WHAT IS IT!?" Exclaimed all four, the Tallest, Sploods, and Lard-nar, who'd been conversing.

"Pretentious, self-righteous PRICKS, _that's_ what!" Laughed Agent Nessie. He, Vick, and Dib laughed, almost rolling around. Leading them on to a classic punch-line was just too hilarious! _(A/N: Okay, so I picked on the British a little. I had to add some historical reference, you know...)_

The Almighty Tallest and their Advisor, Sploods, stood there, glaring at the annoying little human pests who they now decided to put on the same list as the Resisty -annoying, and possibly worth squishing if they sided with said other annoyances.

"Hah_hah_HAH!" Exclaimed Tak sarcastically, now right next to the group. "I hope you're happy with yourselves; you've just made some HORRIBLE enemies."

"What?!" Gasped Agent Nessie, still clutching his sides as he laughed. "What makes you guys think that we're actually going to PICK A SIDE?!"

"Yeah!" Vick laughed some more and then said, "I mean, it's NOT LIKE we can actually SPEAK for our ENTIRE RACE!"

"I'd pick the Resisty's side!" Laughed Dib, "In fact, I already _have_!"

Vick instantly straightened up and said, with completely straightened face, "PLEASE say you didn't just say what I thought you said."

"Erm!" Vrilly instantly started looking around, her instincts telling her that violence was due to erupt any minute now.

Everyone else was blinking, surprised by the sudden change of events. "Oooh-kay...!" Said Dib, and there was quiet for a while before Agent Nessie finally spoke up.

"Yes?"

"Well, you said to say that I didn't say what you thought I just said! ...Uh, I think that's right...yeah." Replied Dib, thinking. The Eenglish language got harder and harder every year!

"*Sigh* Alright! I guess you owe us an EXPLANATION!" Replied Vick with a hand on her head. "Which means EXPLAIN it to us! NOW!" She'd leaned in close to his head, closing the gap between them in a relatively short time.

"Uh...well, it all started when Zim was-" began Dib, before Agent Nessie moaned.

"Oooaaahhh! Not THIS agaaaiin!"

"Oh, well!" Exclaimed Tallest Red, "If it's ZIM, then that EXPLAINS it!"

Both Vick and Nessie looked up at him and said, "Wha-aah?!"

"Pshhh! Yeah! Zim's such a horrible menace, that we EXILED him to YOUR PLANET under the guise of a fake mission!" Replied Tallest Purple with a nod.

"But, of COURSE you must already know that!" Added Tallest Red.

"Uhhh..." was all Nessie could think and say.

Vick, however, was more...assertive. "WHAT!? YOU MEAN YOU WERE_ ACTUALLY TELLING THE TRUTH_ ABOUT THAT!?" She screamed, grabbing Dib by his collar and shouting straight in his face. Tak couldn't help but be highly amused at this sight, despite that they were talking about a major failure her own part.

Dib pushed her away with a shocking amount of force and finally said, "Well, of COURSE I WAS! I mean, SURE, I DIDN'T HAVE THE PROOF_ RIGHT_ THERE _WITH M_E, but it was just a SHORT CALL AWAY! I mean, WHAT!? DO I HAVE SOME SORT OF STINKIN' _SIGN_ ATTACHED TO THE BACK OF MY HEAD, THAT SAYS, 'DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, HE'S INSANE' OR SOMETHING!? I mean, I WORK and I WORK, TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO LISTEN, BUT DO THEY EVER CAAARRE!? _NO_!"

"Uhhh...I don't think that we should be talking about this in front of...you know...!" Said Agent Nessie, pointing lamely to the aliens who were paying attention as if it was the most interesting thing in this world. Which, it was. At this point.

But Dib just continued on in his ranting, until Vick finally said, "SHUT-UP!" This got his attention long enough for her to add, "And, uh...since you actually were telling the truth, you're off probation." This didn't make any sense to the aliens around them, but, hey! Nothing they were talking about did! "Do you guys MIND?" She asked as she looked up to see the other aliens staring at them raptly.

"Are you KIDDING?!" Exclaimed Tallest Red, munching on some of their snack-nuts.

"This is the most ENTERTAINMENT we've had ALL DAY!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple as he also munched on something that looked like a petal, but was thicker and apparently delicious enough to snack on.

"HEY!" Shouted Lard-nar, who was also guilty of being highly interested in their conversation, "Show some RESPECT! Maybe they don't WANT to be made a mockery of by PRETENTIOUS JERKS!"

"HEY!" Shouted Tallest Red, and the four, including Sploods, instantly dissolved into another shouting name-calling-fest.

Vick just stood up and shook her head, "This is _ridiculous_! It's crazy, I feel like I'm baby-sitting, 'cept I'm not getting _paid_!"

Agent Nessie and a couple of the other aliens just nodded their heads in understanding.

Time passed, with Dib prowling around the edge of their camp-site and only safe place they had, to explore.

Tallests Red and Purple were sitting around the fire, eating the last of their snacky-stuff in silence. They were annoyed that they'd been forced to stop bothering the aliens on the rather forced advice of the rest of the group: that it would start a fight. And right now, the last thing they needed was to be fighting each other!

The sounds of the other aliens eating stuff and conversing made their way over to Dib as he prowled. "What have I told you about -oh! Well, okay, honey, you can eat them." Came the voice of Lard-nar's mother as she prodded him about what to and what not to eat. While Dib thought about what in the world they could be talking about, he also thought about another annoying, alien woman...and about whether or not she could be of any help to his prowling expedition.

'Tak, did you get to check out any of the surroundings?' Thought Dib, momentarily forgetting how ticked she was at him. She made sure to remind him, of course, just like any woman would.

'NO. I've been too busy standing guard and trying to quell arguments between my own leaders and the other aliens!' She thought, the last part of that thought stinging into his brain a lot more than he thought it ought to.

'Ouch! Okay, I was just asking! ...Wait, you haven't been saying anything...how are you-' as he thought this, he got another mental sting, along with a mental description of how her psychic abilities could be used to influence peoples' emotions. 'That's enough! Okay...! _Sheesh_, with all of this, it's like you're trying to use your psychic abilities to influence _my_ emotions to feel _pain_!' His familiarity with girls' moods when they're angry was quite strong; he did have a little sister, after all!

'JUST stay away from me, alright?!' She thought, the anger in her mind rising. She really wished that she could quell it, but it wouldn't budge. Instead, she tried a different tactic: 'I- I think I need some time alone!'

'Okay... Well, I'm sorry if I've done anythi-' he got another sting in his mind that told him he shoudn't have said that. 'ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! *Sigh* Just...don't hesitate to call when you need help, okay?' Dib finished this feeling a little bit uneasy. He hadn't seen her in so long, why was she acting this way?

'Of course...I'll call...' Tak trailed off quietly, pulling back into her own thoughts. Thoughts that were apparently darker and much more dangerous than Dib had ever given them credit for. Though she wished that she could tell him and get his stupidly oblivious mind on the right track, it was absolutely painful to do this.

So Dib just found himself some new things to occupy his time, and suffered in ignorant silence.

Time passed, and just as they were thinking that they saw the first rays of morning light, they realized that it was only the clouds parting...

The view of the "night" sky, if anyone would call it that now, was breathtaking, beautiful, and...bright!

"*GASP!* IT'S SO BRIGHT!" Exclaimed Ploopoh, who apparently hadn't ever been in this area of the galaxy before.

The view up above was astoundingly bright, with dark, nebulous clouds obscuring masses of bright stars that would've otherwise turned everything brilliantly white. The center-piece was the brightest stars of them all, blooming like a glowing aurora and bursting forth with life. The very first one to guess which star this was was neither of the two warring factions, or any other alien life-form which thought themselves particularly bright. It was Vick and Agent Nessie.

"Is that...the center...of..." Began Vick.

"The center of the Galaxy?!" Finished Nessie.

"Sagittarius A*..." Vick barely breathed as they all stared in wonderment. They didn't know how they knew that it was the center of the _Milky Way_ galaxy, nor did they think that it might possibly be a trick of the atmosphere of this new and apparently hostile alien planet.

There were no other possible guesses as they stared in blatant wonderment at all that unfurled in front of them.

Their breathless staring eventually became pointing out familiar stars and constellations, further confirming the estimation by Vick and Nessie. "How'd you even know that?!" Asked Vrilly as she stared up, gaping. It was equally pretty, no matter who you were. Well, unless you didn't have eyes or something...

"Oh, uh...I spent a lot of time studying astronomy..." said Vick nervously, not willing to mention that she'd been in the Astronomy clubs at her school and an absolute geek times ten! She barely took her eyes off the incredible sight.

"Uh...I spent some time on it, too...the neighboring clusters of other galaxies was always a hobby of mine," mumbled Agent Nessie, still staring up at the stunning sight.

"OOOH! OOOH! That's-!" Dib was repeatedly naming off different stars, even the ones that didn't have any names yet. The other aliens were adding their own names to it, until it became the, "Who has the best name for that space-stuff?" game.

The other aliens who were either asleep or doing something which meant that they weren't around or cognizant at this time were roused gradually, staring in renewed shock and awe at the beauty. They gasped and chattered on in delight, and finally it seemed like everyone had something in common: they all still loved staring up at the night sky. Though, that didn't mean they didn't find ways to fight about it~!

"...No, no, no! The ARCTIPIDI-PLANET was conquered, not the PLANET ARCTIC! Your people conquered it, remember?!" Lard-nar was saying to the Tallest, trying to set some record about something they were looking at in that night sky straight.

"Oh, yeah~!" Replied Tallest Purple. "But, wait a minute! Why was that Arctipidi-planet colonized? I mean, yeah, we conquered it, but...uh..."

"I don't know, I think we kind-of forgot about it... Ah, well. If it was really that important, the Control Brains would've let us know." Replied Tallest Red, contemplating this. "In the meantime, what was it your people did with the PLARNETIES PLANET~?" He asked, leaning in to talk to Lard-nar, who was a few feet shorter than he was.

"Oh, come on!" Replied Lard-nar with half a grin, "We gave it back to them...eventually~!..." The others in the Resisty-side of the group just laughed. Apparently the Vortians weren't perfectly peaceful, either. When they wanted to be...!

"What's an 'Arctipidi'?" Asked Vrilly, finally voicing the question she'd had in mind for well over an hour. It was just that long that they'd been staring at the brilliant night-sky and conversing about stars and stuff.

"Uh...!" Even Lard-nar seemed at a loss this time. "I don't even know what that means, actually...!"

"Yeah... I forget. What was it again?" Asked Tallest Purple, turning to Tallest Red for help. "I know it had something to do with that dessert...!"

"No, no, that was AGES ago! The dessert came later." He responded easily. "But, uh...I don't think anyone knows! It doesn't even sound _Irken_...!" After Lard-nar insisted that he'd been right in assuming that, Tallest Red looked at him with a glare to tell him to shut-up before saying, "I think I remember hearing an odd rumor, though...but that was just a rumor. Something about it not really meaning anything at all -the Control Brains were just messing with people's heads and stuff!... Huh."

Lard-nar was now laughing, "Those old Control Brains were hysterical! So mean and vindictive~!"

"Hey, it wasn't _easy_ breeding a whole new race of Irkens to lead everybody! ...Especially not after that last war...!" Tallest Red replied, but trailed off as he thought about those old news reports. "Heh heh...that one guy's head looked so funny...!"

"What?! What are 'Control Brains' again?" Asked Vick, who'd been nodding off a bit and wanted to sleep, but the others were too busy bantering back and forth for her to do that. The ground was also hard and uncomfortable.

Ploopoh sighed as he decided that it was his turn to explain it again. After all, nobody wanted to hear Dib explain anything! "The Control Brains are literally Irkens which are grown to have only giant brains! They're the leaders -the Tallest are really just figure-heads."

"Eeewww~!" Replied Agent Nessie, whose eye was twitching. "Just figure-heads? Really?!"

"Hey! It takes a lot to be as popular and ...uh, cool! as us!" Replied Tallest Purple with a huff.

"That still reminds me of the Bruttish Empi-" Started Agent Nessie, before everyone started throwing rocks and stuff at him.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THAT!?" Exclaimed the rest of the group. Apparently there'd been enough discussion on that subject to warrant their offenence. Also, it was fun to just throw things at him.

"Gee, it's usually ME getting stuff thrown at my head!" Laughed Dib with unconcealed glee. It was fun to see someone else get punished for talking too much.

"Oh, don't worry; we're just waiting for daylight so we can see you more clearly." Replied Vick with an annoyed groan.

"Why? He's right there! His head's the size of a large PLANET!" Exclaimed Agent Nessie. "You can't miss it!"

"I know..." moaned Vick, "I'm just so sleepy~! I wanna' go to bed...and on a nice, soft mattress...!" She rolled her head around on her arms which were laying on her knees. It was the most comfortable she could get.

The others looked a bit annoyed at her complaining and reminding them of their plight; but Vrilly finally said, "I know, it's not like we can just turn out the sky's light!" Vick gave her a half-smirk appreciatively.

"Well, I for one opt to use Clasps the blob-lady as a pillow! Who's with me?!" Exclaimed Ploopoh suddenly.

"Uh...that'll be kind-of hard..." Replied Dib mystically.

"Why?!" Exclaimed almost everyone who'd been looking forward to it. Which included Lard-nar and the Tallests, as well as a very tired Vick and Agent Nessie.

"Because, she's been melted into a puddle to rest for the past five hours." Replied Tarky. He'd awoken earlier when everyone was enjoying the night sky.

"Aaawww~!" Moaned the unhappy exhausteds.

"I'm so sick of thiiis!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple suddenly. "Stuck on an unknown planet with a whole bunch of aliens and the softest place to sit is an alien BLOB-WOMAN! I WANT OUUU~UUUT!" He buried his face in his arm-guards.

Tallest Red started tearing up, "I, I, miss ordering people around~!"

"We're still here, my Tallest!" Offered Sploods very loyally. "Tak and I will do whatever you want!" Tak had wandered over and was hoping that they wouldn't order them to do anything embarrassing. Like entertaining!

"I thought we were done with this kind of stuff!" Tallest Purple as still moaning about it, though. "I mean, we used to be Invaders, but STILL! I LIKE BEING WAITED ON!"

"I want more _entertainment_ than just watching these aliens TALK ON AND ON AND ON!" Exclaimed Tallest Red. "I mean, come on! WHAT ABOUT THE PUPPET-SHOWS!?" He suddenly started shaking Sploods. Sploods blinked, and then started trying to come up with ways to appeal to them.

"Uh...perhaps...I can... Use some of my cut-off uniform to make...puppets?" He offered very unwillingly. He really wished he could get out of there; but, apparently, if making puppets would help his Tallest cope with this horrible tragedy, then making puppets it would have to be!

"*Sniff sniff* Really?!" Replied Tallest Red, looking hopeful.

"Then what are you waiting for?!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple, "Get to it! And make 'em interesting!"

"Yes, Sir!" Replied Sploods, then, turning to find Tak, he said, "Hey, gimme the cut-off part of my uniform I told you to hold for me!" Tak was conveniently nearby and complied. Hey, he out-ranked her! He could tell her to carry _him_ if he felt like it.

Not that he would, since there was no reason for it right now...she was also around the same size -a bit shorter- and would be more useful for other things. Like fighting the other horrifying monsters that came after them, you know the drill. She was annoyed to discover that he insisted on her helping him construct these things.

"No, no, no! Just give it here!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple finally, after they fumbled around with the fabric. He yanked the stuff away from them and he and Tallest Red set to work making their puppets. Thankfully...! That kept them occupied enough that for a while, there was no more arguing or complaints. Well, there were some complaints, but the arguments stayed at a bare minimum.

In the meanwhile, the others occupied themselves talking.

"So!" Exclaimed Vrilly suddenly, eyes wide as if she was trying to force herself awake, "Uhm...what to talk about...oh! I know! I'm a communi-marketer on my planet; what jobs do you guys do?"

"Aaahhh...and now we're at the age-old 'let's talk about or jobs' part...!" Mumbled Vick from burying her head in her arms on her knees. Then, "Well, let's see -my last job ended when I got into a _horrible_ fight with my boss...I've been living on unemployment benefits, but I was thinking of working from home by starting some sort of self-employed hobby-thing... And, on weekends, or whenever I'm not busy, I work as Agent Tuna Ghost for the Swollen Eyeballs, investigating weird and mysterious stuff. It doesn't actually pay anything; which is why I'm still considering working from home."

Vrilly nodded understandingly. "Ah, that reminds me, I lost my job a few years ago when I got angry and, eh...! 'Fired' my boss...! Heh, heh heh...!" The others stared at her expectantly. "Well, I mean!... He was JUST STANDING THERE, in the STINKIN' LIGHTER-FLUID which I TOLD him was too dangerous to stand either on or near; but, well, YOU KNOW~!" She then rolled her eyes. "At the very least, I get to imagine the fact that he won't _ever_ get that lighter-fluid smell off of himself~!"

Vick and everyone else in the group giggled, with the exception of the Almighty Tallest, who weren't paying any attention. Then Agent Nessie turned to the others and asked, "So, what about you?"

"What about YOU?!" Exclaimed everybody, pointing at him.

"Erm! I, uh...!" Started Nessie with his hands up innocently; but the others stopped him.

"YOU haven't told us what YOU do, yet!" Replied Throbulator with a wry grin. Though he'd been previously conversing with Starky and Ploopoh, he was glad when this new line of conversation began.

"Well, I thought I already told you..." Nessie paused in thought, honestly absorbed in thinking about it. "I've lived in Scotland for the last five years...and, I'm a Pharmacist! Although, for some reason they like to say 'Chemist' over there...pshhh! As if there's _that_ much chemistry included in it!"

Vick poked him with an elbow -don't ask how she managed to reach him. "Oh-OH! And on my time off, I do research for the Swollen Eyeball Network as Agent Nessie. 'Cause I live by Loch Ness. Is...that all...?"

"You know, that really doesn't explain it." Replied Throbulator, also being honest.

"What?! What's so confusing about it? I told you everything that you needed to know!" Exclaimed Agent Nessie, confused.

"What's a 'Pharmacist'?" Asked Lard-nar.

Agent Nessie promptly almost fell over at this question.

"He was _kidding_~!" Replied Lasch-mik. Almost everyone else giggled at his expense. "Sweety~ you shouldn't make awkward jokes -other people can get upset." She waved a finger at her son.

"Oh, come on! It wasn't that awkward!" Exclaimed Lard-nar. "I mean, nobody even minded -_he_ didn't!" He waved a hand over at Nessie, who was promptly interrupted from his conversation with Vrilly.

"Huh? What?" Asked poor, confused Nessie.

"Now, Lard-nar! You've been this way ever since you were plucked off the Electro-uterine Tree!" Lasch-mik still waved a finger at him. Dib's head perked up at the mention of weird alien reproduction-trees. "Globs know I tried to plick some sense into that scattered brain of yours; but, _really_!" Lard-nar was almost rolling his eyes, patiently waiting out the obviously well-rehearsed scolding. "Even your father, Papoosh, was worried about you; you don't even talk to your brother!" Lard-nar was about to say something, but she continued, "And don't say it's because of your little 'Resistance' thing, either!"

"Of course not, mother -it's because he's usually dealing in ILLEGAL ACIDS~ in the underground! Not because I don't want to give him a few scoldings of my own~!" At Lard-nar's comment, everyone was now extremely interested in his family's life.

"Wow, that even makes my own family seem less weird and hard to get along with!" Mumbled Vick, unheard by all except those who were sitting next to her.

"I can't believe that until he's been caught for illegal pan-handling!" Lasch-mik replied stubbornly. "I mean,_ sure_, there was that one little...eh, 'incident' in his mandatory-education days, but, uh...!"

"Geeze, Mother! What does it take to convince you that your other son's a _CREEP_!?" Exclaimed Lard-nar, face-palming.

"That is NO way to TALK ABOUT YOUR BROTHER, young man!" She said, instantly pulling on one of his head-things which made him yelp and flail about. Then she let go. "Now, let THAT be a lesson to you!" Lard-nar just pouted as she turned to sit down again.

"Sometimes I just don't understand my mother...!" He mumbled to himself as he also sat down -but farther away from her. He'd rather be standing on the other side of the camp, honestly; but she really would've been upset if he did that. He sighed as he sat down, and Shloonktapooxis looked on, floating, hoping he could help. Ploopoh put a hand on Lard-nar's shoulder reassuringly.

"Thanks," Lard-nar replied simply. The message passed, Ploopoh removed his hand.

Dib's head, in the meanwhile, was just BURSTING with questions! 'What's an "Electro-uterine Tree"?! Is that how Vortians reproduce?! Is there some kind of law against dealing is specific substances, like illegal drugs or something?! How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?! Oh, no...that one doesn't apply at all...!' While he was wrestling with these and other important and highly unimportant matters, Agent Nessie had tried to strike up a non-awkward conversation once more. It was kind-of awkward, though, until the others -including Ploopoh- joined in.

"Uhhh...right! So..." Nessie looked around, hoping another topic of conversation would show itself. It didn't. "So, uh...right! What do, uh, you do?" He asked the next person sitting next to him. Throbulator burst in instead.

"Well, I'M A ROUGH-ROCK SOLDIER!" Everyone turned to look at him.

"Uhh...right! Is the pay good?" Asked Vrilly, unsure as to why he was so excited to join in the conversation.

"Neh, it's a lot better than being a LAMEO-ROCK SOLDIER! But, of course, we don't quite as much moneys as the Irken soldiers!" He shrugged. "Whatever! I get my own place, and I DON'T have to watch out for INEXPERIENCED MORONS in my troop! So, that's cool..." The others were just surprised that Throbulator had ended his sentence in a slightly-non-loud manner.

"Which Troop are you?" Asked Crystal, now awake and wandering up to the little group surrounding the fire.

"I'm in TROOP BLOCK-LICK!" Exclaimed Throbulator, sticking his head and chest up proudly.

"Really?! I'm in Troop Eeek-lick!" She exclaimed. Then they both did something equally-unexpected.

They jumped up and gave each other high-fives and shouted, "HOBO-13 TROOP-LICKS!"

The others just stared on in wonderment.

"AND Zim-survivor-LICKS!" Added Throbulator with a wave of a finger. This just caused Crystal to laugh.

"Oh, MIK! That day was HORRIBLE!" She exclaimed. They both laughed at having lived through the terrible experience. Ploopoh looked on in surprise, suddenly reminded of that time.

"YOU TWO were on HOBO-13 when Zim was there to get 'special training', A.K.A. the Tallest just wanted to get rid of him?!" Ploopoh exclaimed, "I was silently betting on 'floo-gon fills his mouth and he suffocates to death'!" Then he grinned, "Wow! Small universe, huh?"

"Huh!?" Exclaimed Agent Nessie finally, "I can't understand a WORD of this -just what in the HFIL is everyone _talking_ about!?"

Everyone glared at him for the much-overused place-beneath-the-overworld expletive, but didn't say anything about it. Well, except for Lasch-mik.

"You should watch what you say around little brains!" She said, pointing to Dib's huuuge head.

They all looked over at Dib, who raised an eyebrow at this. Vick just snickered.

"Oh, come on! I've heard worse things -not that I'd REPEAT any of them-" Dib added this last part to allay any fears the mother-figure seemed to have of him repeating horrible words. She gave him an annoying eye-raise, but then said nothing.

"Say, about what you asked," said Ploopoh to Nessie, keeping everyone on-track. "I'm a Communications Drone on my planet, now called 'Communicatia'. I help keep all kinds of transmissions from getting mixed-up and where they need to go -and so I easily overheard about that whole, 'Hobo-13 fake-training mission' the Tallest sent Zim on, hoping that he would be killed...yeah." The humans blinked, but then nodded.

"So, you're like, one of them old telephone switch-board operators!" Replied Agent Nessie with a point.

"Ehne...not sure what you mean by 'telephone', but it's not as if I field all the calls myself; I can just hear them and make sure they're not talking about anything horribly-illegal...or that their lines aren't getting mixed up and that all security-transmissions STAY secure...you know the drill!" He grinned, but the group simply got oddly-quiet at this massive revelation.

There was silence.

"..."

"Awkwa~ard..." stated Vrilly.

"HEY! Then that means that you're THAT Ploopoh; from the planet Communicatia!" Exclaimed Sploods so suddenly with a shout, that the others practically had heart-or other blood-pumping mechanism-attacks!

"Uhhh...fuoh...! Yes, why do you wanna' know?" Ploopoh asked cautiously. Sploods didn't seem angered by this.

"You're able to field up to eleven calls at once, without the use of the cybernetic-implants! AND you can untangle even a complex web of annoying Enne Tents aliens which don't have any names so it gets all confusing...! You're a genius!" Sploods exclaimed, still happy. "If anyone can help us to rig up a communications-array from spare, random junk, it's _him_!"

"Nyeh-heh-heh...!" Ploopoh's face seemed to turn blue, positively a sure sign of a blush. "But, that was just that _one_ time...!" He insisted, his face now turning a bit violet. But then he added, "And besides, all my race has some kind of communications-enhanced abilities~! We were even called the 'Communicaes' long before the Irkens 'adopted' our planet into the Empire!" Blush gone, he then pointed to his own head, "But those cybernetic-implants which help us to do things fast _do_ help~!" Sploods could see that he was just being modest, and so he continued to explain to him.

"You've got what it takes to get someone to HELP US GET OUT OF HERE!" Sploods explained, "I mean, how is that NOT GOOD!?" Then he turned around just as the Almighty Tallest were finishing with their hand-puppets and hovering over to the rest of the group.

"Yes, yes, we heard~" sighed Tallest Red. His hand-puppet looked like a striped sock without eyes; he'd dubbed it "Señor Snakeyton". It still needed a little sombrero, though.

"Unfortunately, there's no-THINGS with which to MAKE any COMMUNICATIONS-ARRAY OUT OF! So, that's no good," added Tallest Purple. His puppet was also striped, and had two little holes cut out for eyes which he jabbed some sort of flowers in there and called said sock-looking puppet, "Wannol, the Traveling Minstrel", who apparently had a very colored and tragic past, and was now bent on revenge towards anyone who wouldn't listen to his music. _(A/N: "Wannol", sounds like "flannel".)_

"Señor Snakeyton" wiggled his little "nose" and looked towards "Wannol, the Traveling Minstrel", as if to mention something to him. "Wannol" promptly ate his face after singing a song musically intonated by Tallest Purple.

As everyone stared and watched this amusing and rather interesting puppety-show, the sounds of Lasch-mik and Clasps' screaming could be heard, and Tak instantly reported to them that they were indeed in trouble...!

Everyone who was either interested or cared ran towards the sound and found out what was happening: Clasps was trying to re-form from her puddle-rest, but something underneath was grabbing onto her, refusing to let go. Lasch-mik pulled on her blob-arms and head, trying to yank her up.

After Ploopoh and Throbulator joined in the tugging, along with Lard-nar and Crystal, she was finally un-stuck. Tak sighed as she realized they'd probably want her to scan for things.

Tak pulled out her scanner and said, "Yeah, you probably won't wanna' be resting there again...!" Then she winced.

"Ooohhh mik, this is sooo embarrassing!" Moaned Clasps. "Erm! What are you all standing around there, for?!" Although the danger was over, the others were staring at her, mysteriously curious for some reason.

"Are you okay?" Came Ploopoh, who was now the master of pointing out the obvious. Since he worked in communications.

"No! ...Well, yeah, but, uh...! This is too much...uh...!" Clasps looked about nervously before turning to Lasch-mik and whispering something.

"Oooh!" Lasch-mik said, before waving the others off, "Nothing to see here! You all can just leave, now!" The others didn't move, so Crystal shouted.

"She said, 'SCRAM'!" The others moaned and started to wander off. All except for Vick, who still seemed to notice that something was wrong. She wandered closer and quietly stood by Crystal, hoping for her to explain. Vrilly hovered nearby. It had soon turned into a gathering of all the females.

"I'm sorry for asking you about this," Clasps was mumbling to Lasch-mik, who patted her understandingly. "I'm also gonna' need some help with a scanner...!" The strangeness of this conversation still stayed strange, as Tak rolled her eyes and agreed. They all scooted over behind a part of the wall of dead soil-monster which made up their camp-site.

"...That's the last of them," Said Lasch-mik as she picked off the annoying little buggers from Clasps' large foot. Technically, it was the bottom part of her body which moved along the ground; so "foot" was the closest approximation. The "annoying little buggers" were apparently some sort of life-form which lived underneath the soil. Once Clasps had melted into a puddle to rest, they were lodged into her, and their little bodies were annoyingly-firmly-rooted in that soil. Causing her to get stuck. She for some reason didn't like the idea of the males in the group to know about that, which the other females seemed to pick up on.

"They're not potentially dangerous," assured Tak as she poked at her scanner, "But, just to be sure, we'll have to scan the rest of the camp-site and surroundings to find which places would be good to puddle-up to rest for you." Clasps the blob-woman's eyes welled up with woogily-tears as she responded.

"Th-thank you...!" She said gratefully, and Tak had to look away to avoid the full onslaught of "appreciation for unnecessary services rendered by an Irken".

"There's some shallow depressions in the rock around this, enh, thing here," pointed Vick to their dead soil-monster camp-site. Inside was a raised edge which could be used as "seats" or possibly even a counter. It was uneven and bumpy, so it could presumably be used as such a thing.

"Possibly -but I wouldn't suggest it," replied Tak, "This thing looks solid, but it's a bit porous... I guess I'll have to scan around to be sure." Then she sighed.

"Hey, at least you're not like some of those other blob-people!" Said Crystal, hoping to cheer Clasps up. "They have to walk around with large sacks, just in case they spontaneously combust!" There were a few nervous giggles.

"Isn't that how they reproduce...?" Whispered Vrilly.

"Wow, and I thought humans had it bad!" Laughed Vick. "That makes me feel a little bit better about being stranded here without any toiletries...!"

Clasps' eyes widened, and she said, "Yeah...that's something I wouldn't want to worry about...!"

"Psh! _That's_ nothing!" Said Lasch-mik with a wave of her hand. "Compared to being forced to shed your skin every thirty-three weeks?!"

"Yeah, that sounds pretty disgusting..." admitted Vick. "But I still think that _human women_ have it _worse_!"

"Oh, _you_ want _horrible_?!" Exclaimed Crystal, not to be left out. "There's nothing to be compared to growing little calcified lumps every time an oestrus-cycle comes around." Then she waved a hand, "I haven't even got a filer or the acids to dissolve them in -just in case so they somehow manage to get fertilized."

"Well, this conversation has taken a horrifying turn," said Tak under her breath as the others conversed.

"Oh, just suck it up, sweekzy," replied Lasch-mik. Tak glared at the racial comment. "You don't even have room to complain!"

"And for _good reason_!" Exclaimed Tak. "_We_ just happened to find a better way of doing things!"

"Oh, come on! You mean that _you_ don't have any _embarrassing bodily-functions_ to speak of?!" Exclaimed Vick annoyingly. Tak just ignored her ignorant brain's thoughts and replied.

"_Not_ anymore," she said succinctly. "The cybernetic modifications have reduced any need for that."

"Sheesh, being a psychic, cybernetic insect sure has its privledges, doesn't it?!" Snarked Vick. This caused Lasch-mik and Crystal to burst into laughter. Snarky Vick didn't even know what kind of can of worms she'd opened. Vrilly decided to avoid all the cans of worms, and politely excused herself to go back to the camp-site.

Tak raised a finger, about to reply to that, but just decided to ignore it instead. Unfortunately, the others didn't ignore it.

"Oooh! Psych-burn-Irk!" Said Crystal, putting out her fist for a sis-fist. _(A/N: Y'know, like a bro-fist...only with girls...yeah. Okay, I'll be good and stop making up stupid things! I promise...! *Crosses fingers* Okay, so...!)_

Vick looked at her apparent congratulatory fist and said, "What? What's that mean?" as she accepted the fist of awesomeness.

"Stupid racial comment," replied Clasps with a roll of her eyes.

"Speaking of psych-Irkens," said Lasch-mik as she wiped an eye wet with mirth, "If you're a Torulene Irken, then you probably would eat your mate anyways!"

"I will _so_ hurt you once my leaders decide the danger is past and the truce is no longer necessary," said Tak, glaring at her with intense hatred. "Your headacles won't be the _only_ thing withering once I'm through with you...!"

"Oh, you are so on...!" Replied Lasch-mik, also glaring.

_(A/N: I lied...!)_

"Your species _ate_ their mates?!" Said Vick in unconcealed interest.

"THAT'S enough of THAT," stated Tak in clipped tones. "Though if you're still interested in the topic, perhaps you could regale the others of the menstrual-cycle of a human female?!"

"Wooh, sharp tongue there... I'm not surprised you could eat anybody with a mouth like that!" Replied Vick with a sarcastic smirk.

"'Menstrual-cycle'?" Asked Crystal, interested.

"Okay, now even I'm interested," admitted Clasps.

"Of course, I'm interested," added Lasch-mik.

Vick rolled her eyes, "*Sigh* It's not that weird...although, it does get kinda'...gross. Anyways, let's just say that there's only thirteen days until I start feeling the need to go on a murderous rampage from lack of chocolate...!" Then she pouted, "Oh, crud...! I just depressed myself!"

"What are you, anyways?" Asked Crystal suddenly.

"What...?" Asked Vick, wiping away a stray tear induced from remembering a lack of delicious chocolatey-ness.

"She means, what kind of species?" Clasps clarified for Crystal.

"Oh!... Well, mammilian...why?" Replied Vick simply.

Tak smirked and scooted away, happy that the conversation had taken another turn.

"Mammal, mammals...give live birth and...nurse their young?" Crystal had to think a minute about where in the galaxy Earth was, and the commonalities of mammals among similar sentient species in that area.

"Yup!" Replied Vick. Lasch-mik was nodding in approval, as Crystal had gotten it right.

"So...those two things...on your chest...?" Said Clasps, pointing at said glands.

Vick looked down briefly before saying, "Yes."

"Then...the females give birth and nurse the young, and the male of the species is physically more active? Or stronger?" Summed up Lasch-mik.

"It depends on what you think of as 'strong'," replied Vick with a smirk. "That, and if you're comparing me with Agent Nessie, I think he's a flabby stick from working as a pharmacist."

"Yeah, my species places much greater importance on emotional strengths," replied Clasps. "So, that's why the Irkens were so confusing. They're mature, yet their ideas of 'wanting' and 'affection' are so different."

"What do you mean?" Asked Vick in confusion.

"Why don't you ask _her_?" Replied Lasch-mik, noticing that Tak had once again tried to edge her way out of the embarrassing conversation. She wasn't letting her get away!

Tak came wandering back over and said with a sigh, "It's really quite simple: if you like something, then you want it. You see?"

"Well, I guess so..." replied Vick, "But, why would that be confusing?"

"Because the Irkens also 'liked' our planet," replied Clasps.

"Oooh!" Vick nodded and laughed, "Yeah, I get it!"

"Well, it's not like it's anything unusual," replied Lasch-mik, "It's just that they seemed to think it such a _great honor_ to have that happen!"

"If even the annoying, stupid dirt-lings can understand that, then what's the problem?!" Smirked Tak.

"What's the problem with having an alliance and peace-treaty and keeping our own _planet_?!" Exclaimed Lasch-mik.

"That's NOT my job! If you want to complain, then why don't you go do it to the Tallest?!" Replied Tak, pointing towards the camp.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the camp...

The rest of the group had no idea the kinds of things which were being discussed.

"Hey, I wonder what's taking them so long?" Asked Agent Nessie. "I mean, I think Vrilly came back, but...huh."

The others shrugged.

"Maybe they had to use the bushes?" Suggested Ploopoh.

"Ah, yeah...females always wanna' go to the restroom together..." agreed Tarky. The two human males looked up in surprise until he felt like asking them, "What?"

"You mean that's more than just a _human_ thing?!" Exclaimed Nessie. The others in the group laughed.

"Wow. If the universe gets any more ironic, I'm gonna' start sprouting super-shiny hair!..." Mumbled Dib as he poked around at the coal-like rocks near the fire.

* * *

"Wouldn't she have to make a complaint to the _Control Brains_?" Asked Clasps intelligently. Crystal snickered, as Vick looked on confusedly.

"You see?! Everyone else _gets it_!" Exclaimed Tak as she pointed to the others. "_You're_ just whining and complaining since your planet was recently conquered!"

"Well, somebody's too easy to please!" Exclaimed Lasch-mik. "Didn't it ever occur to you that those 'super-smart Control Brains' are just making the same decisions, over and over?! Doesn't _any_one think it's time for a _change_?!"

"_You're_ starting to sound like one of those confounded Resisties! Don't _start_ what you can't _finish_!" Tak said this last part with a lowered voice, tainted with dark intent.

"Even if they are idiots, at least _my son's_ trying to make a _difference_! There's way too many civilizations out there that'll jump at the chance to change things up a bit!" Exclaimed Lasch-mik, waving her arms around. "Even if they are just glorified morons, at least they're TRUTHFUL!"

"THAT'S _ENOUGH_!" Exclaimed Tak, loud enough to echo off the stone-ish walls of their camp. "There's no point in arguing over THIS! _None_ of us have any say in what goes _on_!" Then she realized that Lasch-mik was looking at her with the strangest sort of smirk...almost a knowing smirk...!

"Yes. Or so I _hear_...!" Said Lasch-mik quietly.

Tak's eyes widened and she snarled. Just as she was about to tell her off, someone else interrupted. It was Vick, who had finally decided not to let them get into wild cat-fight...although it'd be easy to see who would win if that happened. She just didn't like the idea of them fighting each other over intergalactic politics on some planet in the middle of nowhere. Seriously, they had to think things over a little bit!

"Look, I don't mean to poke my nose into your business," Vick started, "But, don't you think that this isn't the time to get into a fight over intergalactic politics while we're all zillions of light-years away from our homes?!"

"Aaawww, why'd you have to interrupt them?!" Moaned Crystal. "It was getting interesting...!"

"I know, I was too interested to say something before," admitted Vick a bit sheepishly, "But, it's really not a good idea...!" The reply to this was just pouting and sneering. Pouting, from Tak, Crystal, and Clasps; sneering from Lasch-mik, who was really interested in how Tak would've reacted to her little bit of news she'd heard...!

But, Vick was actually right. This wasn't the time to fight with each other. For however long they'd be there, they'd most likely have to work together to survive; and she hoped she'd at least get another opportunity like this. She sighed and eventually pushed herself to ignoring the disappointment in her gut. Lasch-mik crossed her arms and turned away, walking a few paces away from their small group.

"I'll, uh...! Just go back and, uh...join the guys!" Replied Crystal, suddenly sensitive to some unseen cue as she walked back towards the camp.

"And I'll go, too!" Replied Clasps, turning around to go join her.

Tak was currenly looking away at something else, twitching her antenna a little bit. This was probably the reason why Crystal and Clasps had reacted the way they did...but Vick didn't know anything thing about that, as she couldn't tell any change in an Irken's mood by their antenna.

"*Phew*! Well, that was close...!" Stated Vick. There was silence for a few minutes.

"Thanks," said Tak. It was sudden, and Vick looked up with a start before she continued, "I almost forgot I couldn't kill any _annoying_ aliens." Then she promptly walked off towards the camp.

"Uhhh...you're welcome..." Replied Vick slowly as she walked away.

"And I say, thanks for _nothing_!" Said Lasch-mik with a snap, "I was about to find out something interesting...! I was hoping that little piece of news I found was worthwhile... Before you ruined it!"

"Really?!" Asked Vick, leaning in to discreetly whisper, "I like little news-bits~!" Lasch-mik smirked, showing off some rather sharp-looking teeth before whispering back to her.

* * *

It was a full few minutes before the other two females returned to the rest of the group. The Almighty Tallest were now performing a puppet-show in front of the others, who were adding their own two cents in and progressively ruining the act for them.

"Hey, Vick! Lasch-mik! You're missing it!" Replied Nessie to their entrance. Dib hardly looked up as he was paying more attention to the Tallest's failing puppet-play. "The Foosh-snakes are just working with the Wandering Minstrels to subjugate the Senior Servants!" The two who'd just arrived simply stared at him in wonderment.

"Hey! Shut-up while we're watching!" Exclaimed Tarky as he huffed, turning back to the puppets. The Almighty Tallest had now gotten their arms somehow tangled and had a hard time getting them loose. Eventually they succeeded, and when Wannol the Wandering Minstrel's hat and flower-eye came out, Tallest Red waved his own Señor Snakeyton puppet up in the air, victorious somehow.

"Whoo-hoo!" Shouted Tallest Red. "I win! I win the battle!"

"Hey! That's not fair~!" Moaned Tallest Purple, "I wasn't finished!"

"Nuh-uh! I win~!" Tallest Red said, pulling down on one eyelid. "And you su-uuck!"

"The game goes to Almighty Tallest Red, who successfully subdued Almighty Tallest Purple!" Said Sploods, somehow completely in on the strange turn of events which had somehow been dubbed a game. He put a reddish string of plant-fibers around the winning Tallest's neck, apologizing for the lack of "appropriate winning stuff or medals". The other Tallest suddenly leaned up.

"Suck THIS, suckah!" Tallest Purple exclaimed, shoving something he'd found on the ground which could only be described as looking like a giant bar of fizzing soap at his opponent's mouth. Said opponent, Tallest Red, fell back as the fizzing bar of something invaded his grinning maw and forced him down to the ground.

"And...in a surprising come-back, is the Almighty Tallest Purple!" Said Sploods, after doing a double-take at the other Tallest's subduing. "He may now take the winning er, string, and anything else he wants, for himself!"

"Uuuu...RAAAHHH!" Shouted Tallest Red, suddenly flying through the air and landing a punch on an unsuspecting Purple. Although, the truth be told, the only reason why Sploods was announcing things like a boxing-match was because these two did this all the time when they were bored enough. Well, a lot, anyways... The others just looked on in rapt fascination as the two "Almighty" Irken leaders continued to pummel each other.

"What, are they KIDS or something?!" Exclaimed Tarky rather suddenly. The others just paused to look at him. "What?! Oh, like you guys weren't thinking THE SAME THING!" Then Sploods snapped his fingers, and both Tallests and Tak were suddenly on him, Tak holding down his goopy-looking body as the Almighty Tallest gave him the worst noogie in the history of noogies -because, with the current truce, they couldn't kill or horribly maim him over it.

"Nope, we just weren't stupid enough to say something," Starky stated the exact thing everyone else was thinking.

"Well, when did you wake up?" Asked Lard-nar with some shock.

"What?" Asked Starky. "I've been awake the entire time...! I'm just not getting into an arguement, apparently...!" He added this last part looking at poor Tarky, who was wobbling from his horrible noogie-ing!

The others had to admit that he was right; they really hadn't noticed him because of the fantastic show the Almighty Tallest were putting on as everyone argued with them over their play.

"So, what have you got to say?!" Asked Tallest Red, suddenly standing up from their combined noogie-ing.

"Uh...what?" Asked poor Starky, confused as to what they wanted. "I'm sorry, I, uh...don't know what you mean."

"We _mean_, what can you do to entertain us?!" Replied Tallest Red insistently.

"Yeah! You gotta' be able to do somethin'!" Shouted Tallest Purple, now mysteriously chewing on a plant or bark or something which may or may not have been fit for consumption...but he chewed on it anyhow. Tak confirmed that it was not poisonous. But neither was it much nourishment...not that it mattered to Irkens, whose PAKs did all of that for them... But, it was something, and it kept his mouth shut while he was shouting... Weirder descriptions have been typed, but that was just the start of it. Even still, he kept chewing on it, until Tallest Red took notice.

"Dude, I want some of that," he said, holding a hand out. Tallest Purple, now satisfied with his violence, was happy to comply and share some of the amazing, non-nourishing yet non-poisonous plant with him. Then, "Hey, this tastes like, bad or something...did you give me the wrong plant!?" Tak had to confirm that it wasn't the right kind...then Sploods found the right one to give to him.

As all of this was happening, Starky waited patiently until their attention was once again on him so that he could respond, "Well, I'm, uh...not really that good at entertaining...!" He admitted, rubbing the back of his head, "I mean, really! All I can do is sing 'Morin's Mortie's Weiners' in three different harmonies...!" The others glanced back at him.

"Well, pick one and sing it for us!" Replied Nessie finally. It would at least shut the Almighty Tallest up, even though he was a bit nervous to find out what exactly aliens qualified as "singing".

"W-no, you see, I sing _all three_ of them... At once." Replied Starky with a wave of his hands to emphasize this.

Everyone else said, "Ooohhh..." and then insisted that he sing it. And so he did. Even Agent Nessie had to admit, his singing was very good...though he didn't know the words to it. It wasn't even flat!

After their impromptu song, everyone started conversing about their actual abilities. And Dib, of course, was no stranger to that! He made it fully-known that he was more observant than anyone else in his skool; so much so, that the other two Earthlings finally decided to push his head into the ground to get him to shut it. Then the others got a turn at the boasting-boat. And speaking of boat...!

"So, 'Nessie', was it? What's your deal?" Asked Ploopoh.

"Huh? What?" Asked Nessie, nervous for some reason he couldn't quite pin-point. This was soon pointed out for him.

"Well, he says 'Nessie', and your little name-tag thing says 'Shaftoe'... Why exactly is that?" Ploopoh pointed to the name-tag that was on the now-stained-beyond-all-stain-removal pharmacist's coat, which lie by the fire, empty of all save a couple of bits of food. Mysteriously and yet not too mysteriously almost emptied most likely by the two Tallest who were now sucking and chewing on mysteriously yet not too mysterious non-nourishing yet non-poisonous pieces of plant or bark. Or something. Agent Nessie just sighed to himself, hoping that he didn't have to go into full detail about either of his names... Of course, this story just wouldn't be much fun otherwise!

"Shaftoe is, er, my middle-name...I don't much like my other names. I got the name 'Agent Nessie' partially because of where I live -near Loch Ness where the famed Loch Ness Monster lives- and also partly from a horrible, unrelated incident...which incidentally turned out to be a part of my investigation, and so it was chosen as my code-name? Or something..." Nessie trailed off in confusion. Vick decided he hadn't explained that last part quite clearly enough, so she volunteered!

"Part of the tradition of Swollen Eyeball agents is to pick a name based on a particular supernatural event which happened to them in their lives," as Vick said this, Tak started to smirk, wondering if they'd ever find out what kind of "supernatural event" led to Dib's rather ironic name-choice. Vick started to smirk now as she said, "And guess what happened to Agent _Nessie_...?"

"Woah no, woah no...!" Said agent now hung his head and moaned. He knew it was too late to stop now if everybody wanted to hear the awful truth about it, and yet, "Okay, but if they hear MY story, you have to tell YOUR story!"

"Alright, deal!" Vick said with a smirk.

"*Sigh* Well, I guess it all started whenever I'd first moved to Scotland... I'd gotten a job at a local skool working for a professor there; oh, and it was a college...maybe it was...! Darnit, I've worked at all of them, I just keep getting them out of order...! Dop Top Pop College, maybe it was...

"In the meantime, I wanted to keep an eye out for the local legend, ol' Nessie. I was walking around the edge of the loch, watching the water, with my camera out, taking waaay too many fuzzy and blurry pictures 'cause I was sort-of...inebriated." Nessie paused in his narration at this point, wondering if any of the aliens knew what "inebriated" meant.

Dib just snickered because he'd already heard this whole horrifying tale.

As Vick smirked knowingly, Agent Nessie continued, "I had just been to visit the local Pub, so I'd had a few drinks. Man, that barkeep is weird...! I mean,_ every single time_ I walk in there, he starts singing, 'Who Threw the Overalls in Mrs. Murphy's Chowder?'! Really! I mean, he doesn't do it for anyone _else_! It's JUST ME!" Then he noticed that the others were staring at him. Throbulator was the first one to ask the very obvious question.

"What song is that?" Asked Throbulator in a remarkably low tone.

"What? Oh, that song? Well, he only sings the chorus part of it, and I don't know all the words..." Replied Nessie with a thoughtful hand to his chin, "But it goes,

'Who threw the overalls in Mrs. Murphy's chowder?  
No one spoke up, so I shouted all the louder:  
'Tis an Irish trick, it's true!  
And I'll lick the Mick who threw  
The overalls in Mrs. Murphy's choo~wwder!'"

There were a few confused snickers, and both Dib and Vick burst out laughing. When they'd regained their breath, Dib was the first to speak up.

"Wh-wh-but isn't that an Irish song?!" He asked as he took a breath from the laugh.

"I KNOW!" Exclaimed Agent Nessie, and Vick just laughed some more before finally responding.

"Well, maybe it's an _honor_? You get a whole song's refrain devoted to YOU!" She started laughing again.

"Oh hoh hoh!" Replied Nessie, "With the way those guys mess around with you? I doubt it!" Then he started to laugh too.

"Okay, not that this isn't fun, watching you guys convulsing with laughter over a song or something," Lard-nar spoke up. The three humans snickered at this.

Ploopoh continued his thought for him, "But, why don't you continue your story?" The three Earthlings continued snickering until Nessie finally got his breath enough to continue in the story.

"Okay, so! ...There I was, just walking along, er, stumbling some, along the edge of Loch Ness, taking sloppy pictures with my camera, when suddenly I hear some guys from behind me start talking in Targe`t. When I looked around behind me to see who they were, the two guys -I think there were two, and I _think_ they were guys- suddenly clocked me on the back of the head, knocking me out!

"...Well, after a while I woke up in the trunk of a car, I didn't know what time it was, but I did have my phone with me. I made a quick, slurred call to my landlady -well, I'm sure I had a concussion after all that, and I was still probably inebriated... She didn't quite understand and I hadn't the thought in my head to call 911 -er, it would be 119 there, anyhow. I'm sure I wouldn't have remembered even that if I'd had enough of my head about me...!

"I looked around the back trunk I was in, hoping to find a way out. There was what looked like a pale thing floating above and behind my head...that was odd, since I can't even see that far behind me. I'm really sure I had a concussion and was just drunk, but, uh...! Then I put my hand back to see what it was, and I ended up pushing on this panel! It turned out that there was an opening from the trunk into the backseat -you kow, like some cars have?- and I was able to find it and pull myself out through it. It's a good thing I'm skinny, otherwise I never would've fit!" Agent Nessie paused a bit to catch a breath.

"As I was saying, there I was, in the back seat of this old, worn-out vehicle, with still no clue where in the heck I was or what had happened...! I stumbled out of the car and managed to get a few paces to a tree, where I overheard another conversation, and this one was in Scottish Gaelic -very few people speak that now, and even though I was drunk and confused, I was still interested. As I stood there, wondering just who they were, and whether or not they were the ones who'd kidnapped me, among other things, a random piece of blue fabric suddenly flew over me!... Someone's laundry had apparently flown off the line and was hanging there over my head, like a really lame costume. It was probably funny.

"Anyways...the owner of the laundry came running over, very upset, and looking like she thought that I was either a thief of laundry or just belonged with those other fellas who were trying to have a conversation in an old language. I stepped back, and tried to simultaneously pull the fabric off my head and tell her that I wasn't a thief or something, when...!

"I stumbled backwards and wound up almost in the ditch; I turned around and started running in the other direction, but then I realized that the other direction was the one that other conversation was in! I think that for some reason they thought I was chasing them or something, because two of them started running for the car, and the other two started shooting at me! I don't know what happened to that laundry-woman, but I ducked down and started running in another direction. At that point, I didn't care which! Just as long as it was away from them!

"I'm not sure how long I was running, before I lost my footing and started rolling down an old gravel road, and I don't know what happened after that! I woke up again in the back of what I realized was a different trunk, and this time, I was all bound up with Duck-tape and some rope. I wriggled around, but I couldn't tell what had happened or how I was gonna' get out of this! I didn't have long to wait, though... They had apparently taken my wallet and maybe even my cell-phone, but I probably just dropped it... In any case, I was taken from the trunk, asked a lot of rude questions which I didn't know, beaten up, and then thrown down into a ditch.

"Then...I think that that old laundry-woman must've informed the police, because the next thing I knew, I was waking up as they put me on a stretcher and hauled me into an ambulance... The End." Agent Nessie ended this long and meandering account just as lamely as it had started. The others just stared in awe at that.

"That...uh...that was..." started Starky, but he didn't know how to continue it. It was just that odd.

"You know, that doesn't have anything to do with that 'Loch Ness Monster' thing you were talking about..." Lard-nar finally managed to think up a good response. The others nodded and agreed.

"I KNOW!" Shouted Agent Nessie, grabbing his head in almost a scream, "I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT PART, EITHER!" The other two humans had once again begun convulsing in laughter.

Dib was the first to speak up, "I-I love that...!" Without any further elaboration.

"I, I guess it really was just because you live next to Loch Ness...!" Laughed Vick as she tried to pat him on the shoulder and failed, still convulsing with laughter.

"I-I'm glad I'm not the only one that stuff happens to...!" Dib finally explained, still laughing, but starting to breathe normally again. He wiped a tear out of his eye as he leaned up again.

"What, _you've_ been beaten up and thrown into a car two times after stumbling around drunk at Loch Ness?!" Asked Vick. Everyone started laughing at that. "Well, you did get stuck in that really, really fat guy's stomach...!"

"No, no!" Laughed Dib, "I've been through a _lot_ worse that _that_~!" Whence he proceeded to regale them with a few of his personal experiences.

*"..."*

Several minutes later...

"Wow, I," started Lard-nar, "I don't even think I can begin to understand this...!"

"I know...!" Added Throbulator, just as shocked at the kinds of stories they'd just heard from this kid. "It's...it's...! It's like, some horrible nightmare!"

"Uh-huh...!" Nodded Lard-nar. Even the Almighty Tallest were too shocked to say much.

"Oh, hey! Uh...what about the rest of your names?" Asked Ploopoh, interested in changing the subject from such depressing anecdotes. Honestly, he really wanted to give the kid a cookie for all of that...! But, he did have such a big head, that seemed to draw things to it, and so...he ignored the pity and went for the question, instead. This question hopefully wouldn't include any more horrifying answers.

"Ah, yes, why don't we hear how 'Agent Mothman' got his name?" Asked Tak, and the others nodded in agreement, obviously forgetting who was Agent Mothman in the hopes for a better tale.

"Huh?!" Said Dib, "Well, there's not much to tell..." the other aliens moaned as they realized who "Agent Mothman" was. "I was in the middle of checking out the few mothman sightings in my neighborhood at the time when I was contacted by the Swollen Eyeballs. I showed them my photographs, and although they were pretty good, they were still too fuzzy to see clearly. It was hard to take a good picture when I was worried about why the wires on that suspension-bridge were snapping...!

"In any case, I got back to one side of the river before the bridge collapsed partially. There wasn't much that actually happened...then I told my story to the Eyeballs, and they said my glasses made me look like a mothman with that 'Swollen Eyeball Filter' thing on the screen," Vick started snickering at the memory of that time. "I think it was Agent Dark Booty who said that...anyhow, that's how I got my name...not a very interesting story. I have other stories, though-!" Everyone suddenly shouted and started waving their arms at this.

"NO!"

Dib pouted, but obeyed. Tak was annoyed that it wasn't a very horrible or revealing story, but said nothing.

"I guess I'm the only one left; my name's Agent Tuna Ghost...and I've got the best story for my name~!" Replied Vick, pointing at herself.

"No you don't, Agent Floaty Ghost has!" Exclaimed Nessie petulantly. "And Agent Wearing Slick Shoes comes pretty close!" He held a finger up as he said so.

"SHADDAP, I'M THE ONE TELLIN' THE STORY!" Shouted Vick in annoyance, startling everyone. Apparently lack of sleep did horrible things for her. "As I was saying... It all started when I was searching for the mysterious Giant Kraken off the arctic coast of Sibeorl..."

As she told her story, the fire crackled as if in response to some kind of obscure, theatrical-reference cue.

"...And just when I thought I'd had a bite on my line, I looked down, and there was this little squid, just hangin' there...well, at first I thought it was a squid, but...then it turned out to be an OCTOPUS, and then my boat suddenly over-turned!" She shouted this last part and waved her hands around, as if it was the most shocking thing in existence. "I thought for sure that I'd drown from hypothermia, but apparently I was too scared and jazzed up on adrenaline...either that, or it was all those layers of clothes I was wearing... It doesn't matter, the point is, that I was almost about to die a horrifying Death-by-Kraken! But then when I started swimming, I noticed these tuna-fish all around me...

"The tuna kept pursuing me, no matter how fast or hard I swam! ...Oh, and I was also carrying that one little octopus in my TEETH with the tackle and other stuff over my shoulders that I'd grabbed from the boat after it'd capsized... Anyway, KRAKEN! Dead behind me! Well, _alive_! dead behind me, and TUNA swimming after me! A misty horizon lay in front of me, and I swam just as fast as I could towards where I thought there was a shore! ...Boat gone, no way other than to swim for my life as I tried desperately to lose this TUNA that kept chasing after me! I eventually made it to an island somewhere off the coast of Sibeorl, and I collapsed on the edge of a fishing-village." Vick's story was concluded, but she didn't say so, just sat there, looking smug about the thole thing.

"Then what happened?" Asked Lard-nar, wondering if this was the end or not.

"Oh! Well, the people of the village saw me and took me in... Said it was a miracle that I'd even survived being in the water, let alone swimming! Then they told me a story about a 'Ghost Tuna' that haunts those waters. Said it must've been that tuna-fish's ghost that saved me! That tuna was irritating...! Kept trying to cut me off, too! I think I changed directions too many times..." Vick trailed off for a moment as she tried remembering.

"Uhhh...then what?" Asked Ploopoh. Well, she still hadn't mentioned whether it was the end or not, so...

"Oh! Right! ...Well, that's the end! After I got back home my story was in all the Sibeorl newspapers, and I was contacted by the Swollen Eyeball Network just shortly after that...! And so, that became my name. 'Agent Tuna Ghost'." Then she shrugged. "And... Yeah."

"WOW!" Exclaimed Clasps.

"Okay, she was right: that story WAS the awesomest~!" Exclaimed Vrilly, impressed.

"You oughta' hear Agent Floaty Ghost's story!" Said Nessie with a smirk, "It'll give _everyone_ the chills!"

Dib just smirked, "I bet that_ now_ I could do him one better...!" As he thought of his own adventures, "Heh, now that's a story waitin' to be told...!"

Both Agent Nessie and Vick raised an eyebrow at him and said, "Huh?...!" But, before they could ask the question that would inevitably lead into another horrifying story, someone thankfully spoke up.

"Okay, I've got a good story!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple suddenly, "It's all about how this stupid little sucker went and did ni-" He was suddenly tackled by Tallest Red, who was the "stupid little sucker" in the story. "NYOOOOOOHHHHH!" Nobody could tell which one shouted this, but it was apparent that neither of them could agree on the story now. Sploods just sighed as he turned to the group.

"Well, I've got a good one. There was once this little technician, who-"

"Wait, is this the one with the mouse family in it?" Asked Ploopoh suddenly, pointing at him.  
_(A/N: Insert family-joke no one else will understand... Check!)_

Sploods did a double-take, "Wha- NO! This is my _own_ story, so pay attention, peoples!" Everyone did so and paid attention. "ACHEM:

"There was once this little technician, who wanted to get into Extreme Circus Flunging. But, he didn't exactly have the training or the build for it."

"Oh, it's this one," Said Tallest Red.

"Oh, it's that one," Said Tallest Purple at the same time, causing the others to briefly look up at the two who were paused in mid-hover-wrestle.

"Man, he always tells it whenever things get boring." Commented Tallest Red.

"Yeah, I know," replied Tallest Purple. Sploods waited until the Tallests had had their say before continuing.

"Anyways," he started.

"You'd think he could change it," said Tallest Red.

"Shhh, quiet, he's still telling it!" Replied Tallest Purple. Sploods continued once again.

"This technician then mentioned it to me when he was repairing my Bronz Muncher. Back then they had the ones where the- oh, you know the kind!" He waved a hand before continuing. "Anyhow, we- er, I suggested that he go to the Admissions section in the Career Placement Examinations Tent to talk to a certain specific person -name and/or names excluded for personal privacy-" A lot of the others nodded, "Then I told him to say -hee hee, I can't really say this, but let's just say that it was...a compliment...?! *Snickers* Anyways, to make a long story short, he got the job, but, uh..."

He trailed off for a minute before finally remembering how it ended, "Oh! That's right, he saved someone from falling into the Circus' Fire Pit and won a really coveted job...'cause that's just what the Circus' Falling into a Fire Pit Defence Squad is there for! The end!"

The others laughed appreciatively, even the ones who didn't know exactly what was going on in there, because the name, "Circus' Falling into a Fire Pit Defence Squad" was just that funny. "So, who's next?" Asked Sploods, like it was the "telling stories around the fire" routine...that it had gradually evolved into.

"Okay, I've got one!" Exclaimed Starky, raising his hand, "Okay, so, this involves myself and my wife Tarsey, before when I'd just met Markey, and-" someone, Vrilly, interrupted with a raised hand.

"Sorry, but, uh, just for a little reference: how many wives do you have now?" She asked, a little bit confused as to his family-life. "I mean, if this is a family story, then, uh...'cause Sploods didn't exactly explain things, either...! Uh, sorry, Sploods." She nodded towards him apologetically. He just shrugged his shoulders, unaware that there had to be any explaining done with it.

"Oh! Right, sorry. Well, right now I have two; Tarsey, and Markey, who's the child-bearer. Anyhow, this story takes place just when I'd met Markey, so, uh, we were just dating at the time...make sense now?" All nodded, and Vick stared with a raised eyebrow, now glad she'd avoided being flirted with by a guy whose species were apparently polygamous.

Starky pretended like he didn't see the weird looks she was giving him because of an awkward flirting-attempt, and continued. "Well, we had planned to meet with Markey at, uh...a food-court. Or something. Darnit, if she were here she'd be correcting me, she'd be able to tell it," a couple of the others snickered at that. "Markey was late, though...! It was odd, because she was usually so strict and stuff... Anyways, it turns out that she was buying something from this magician as a gift."

"What kind of magician?" Asked Vick with renewed interest, the annoying flirting-attempt all-but-forgotten.

"Well, uh... His name's Fortints, and he's the Panhandler of the local Monster House, the Peeshugurs." The Irkens and humans snickered at this. For some reason, the others were all too afraid to snicker, and for good reason: anyone whose planet didn't have a strong ruling Monster House wasn't about to laugh about the name of one who did. The humans, of course, were just ignorant.

Except for Dib, of course. But he wasn't aware of much Monster House etiquette, and so he was also left snickering uncontrollably. "Well, if you're all done now," started Starky again, but this just caused the others to snicker even more. He waited a few moments again and then continued.

"Anyhow, Panhandler Fortints wouldn't give it to her without a Reccomended Mystics -that's a kind of medicine, for those of you who don't know-" he seemed to be looking specifically at the humans as he said this, and at Vick in particular, but nobody noticed. Not even Dib, who was very good at notice. "Then she had to go to another store, buy it, and come back."

"Meandering _sto-ory_!" Pointed out Lasch-mik, "Really! You're as bad as that Nessie human! Get to the point!"

"I am getting to it!" Replied Starky in annoyance, despite himself. "Anyhow! Then when we finally met up with her, she showed off the prettiest little Fluffpy you'd ever seen -it was so nice- and then we wound up almost never using it! The end." He looked around, but mostly at the humans. "Are there any questions?"

"What's a 'Fluffpy'?" Asked Agent Nessie, who instantly caused a couple of others to snicker. Mainly Lard-nar and Shloonktapooxis. "What?!"

"A 'Fluffpy' is a, uh...fertility charm." Replied Starky, unsure of exactly how to describe it, since even they were usure of its exact effects and function.

Nessie just blinked, and then wondered why that would ever count as an interesting story. "You just regaled us with a boring tale about a fertility charm...!?"

This gave everyone room to think. There was a very long and awkward pause.

"That sounds like the time that I was talking to this one FOOP-LICK soldier on the planet Moofsbane...!" Stated Throbulator. "He said that they also had some great pan-handling magicians in their Monster House..."

"Mik, our Monster House totally had no chance -against the Floofkeesians, that is- not against the Irkens' one." Stated Clasps as she looked over to them. The Irkens glared at her for even bringing it up.

"Yeah, uh, not to seem_ terrified_ about the subject, but could you please refrain from mentioning that?!" Stated Tallest Red. Both he and Purple had long-since stopped arguing and were huddled together, talking about their puppets when these comments were made, and Sploods shuddered involuntarily. Purple was trying his hardest to appear unaffected by all this, by not saying anything.

"Mik, that guy gives me the _creeps_!" Sploods stated, rubbing his arms with a bit of a chill. Dib just raised an eyebrow at him, wondering how anybody could be creeped out by that guy -and then remembered that he was used to that kind of stuff, because of his sister. Huh. No wonder he'd felt so comfortable around him, huh?

"So..." mumbled Vick, "We probably shouldn't ask what everyone here means by 'Monster House', and why everyone seems to have one." Dib gulped unconsciously, realizing that both Vick and Nessie were getting curious.

"Well, probably any planet has one," replied Vrilly with a shrug.

"Yeah, we had one!" Waved Throbulator.

"Us, too!" Waved Crystal.

"Yeah, ours got merged with the Throbutorlites'," said Tarky.

"We didn't!" Replied Ploopoh. When all the others turned to look at him, he said, "Well, our species has always been good at communicating -and that means that even the outcasts would be easy to get to know." He explained this so simply, that no one else needed to ask any more questions -except Vrilly.

"Was that why they didn't participate in that whole, 'Great Arms Race', that took place across the galaxy?" She asked with a point. In his direction.

"What? Er, no; there were also some, uh, political things and reasons for that...let's just say that any of us who actually _know_ about it aren't supposed to say...which is a pretty big deal, _believe_ you _me_!" Ploopoh explained with a sigh.

"There was a 'Great Arms Race' that took place across the Galaxy?!" Asked Vick, thankfully taking the pressure off of Dib's little heart. He was worried he'd have to explain about his own "Monster Family"...! But, now that the subject had changed, he didn't have to.

"There was a 'Great Arms Race' around about...300 years ago...? Anyways, a lot of planets got this scare with some of the new 'Atom Generating' technology, and everyone was in a tizzy trying to create even cooler stuff. They eventually calmed down when no one wanted to start a war because everyone was so well-armed! *Snickers* Eventually, the Irkens even worked together with Vort to create some 'Atom Scattering' technology, and that stopped everyone in their tracks! *Laughs* Man, history class can be so much fun~!" Explained Vrilly as she leaned back her head with a sigh.

"Wow, then I'm gonna' have a lot of fun talking to you~!" Replied Vick with a snicker.

"Well, History was one of my favorite subjects~!" Replied Vrilly with a little wave of the hand. Both girls giggled.

"Well, speaking of gossip," started Lasch-mik. The whole group turned to look at her. The Irkens had the strangest feeling like they knew where this was going -in whole or in part, due to Tak's ability permeating their brains as she tried to keep the peace.

"But, we weren't talking about gossip," stated Sploods, raising a finger up.

"Well, I am, and I've just heard the most interesting bit of news..." replied Lasch-mik sneakily. Tak, who was hidden from view keeping a "lookout" on the other side of their deceased soil-monster shelter, snarled to herself. That narflack was going to keep trying to confirm that fact, no matter what! She tried to stay calm as she pouted in the background. There was, afterall, nothing she could do.

"About the Moo-moo Galactic Covenant?" Asked Vrilly. "Yeah, I've heard that!"

"Everybody's heard about that!" Stated Sploods in annoyance. He already knew what it was about; but he'd be darned if he was gonna' admit it!

"Yeah, let's not start gossiping about unfounded rumors...!" Stated Tallest Purple.

"Ulgh, it's irritating! You know that kind of stuff gets around about every time something war-like happens, right?" Remined Tallest Red, rubbing his head.

"Oh, come on! Don't say you're not in the least bit interested...!" Replied Lasch-mik, still not backing down.

Just as the Tallest and Sploods were about to shout, "WE'RE NOT!", something else spoke up.

Tarky's body squeaked and wurbled, wiggling all over and generally making a ruckus. "Uhhh, sorry, but my body just can't take being hungry for very long...ulgh! Is there any of that food left?" He asked, looking weaker as he bent over, drooping like a sick flower. Even the flower-looking-thing on the top of his head had started to turn blue-ish purple.

"Oh, sure, you can have the rest of what's in this -er, woops." Lard-nar had just pulled up Nessie's coat, only to find that it'd been emptied...rather mysteriously, actually, considering that some of the humans' food and others' was gone as well. Everyone looked around and whistled innocently, as if they didn't want the others to know that they'd done it. After a while of nervous nonchalancy, their conversation continued.

"Well, I guess I'll just go out and look for some," Tarky replied, peering off into the dense jungle with just the slightest bit of trepidation. "Uhm, not to seem needy, but, uhm...my eyesight in the dark is not that good...and, uhm, a scanner or something might be good..." Then he looked around for Tak, "Might be nice to have..."

"*Sigh* Soldier! Take that food-tarp and escort this alien through the jungle. Leave him if he gets into trouble -we don't want our food-stores getting lost or stolen! And don't forget to get some more snacks for us, as well." Tallest Red ordered Tak, pointing towards Agent Nessie's coat and Tarky. Tarky winced at the fact that he was to be abandoned if they were in trouble, but was thankful for at least the consideration. The others in the group were all too tired or annoyed to even comment on it.

"Yes, Sir!" Replied Tak, taking the "food-tarp" and pulling out a scanner. "Does anyone else want to place an order, or are we good for now?" She asked sardonically, scanning and glaring from one person to another, as if she just dared them to answer it. Of course, some did.

"Nah, we're good," were most answers, but Dib had a much different one.

"Hey! Can I come?" He asked, pipqued interest clearly showing as he walked towards Tak and Tarky.

"What?! That's stupid!" Replied Vick.

"Agreed. Your big head would only attract predators," replied Tak with annoyance.

"Aaawww~!" He moaned. "But, I'd be a great distraction!"

"NO!" Everyone else shouted at once.

"You don't listen, do you?!" Exclaimed Nessie.

"And besides, you don't even have a flash-light, and you'd get lost because you're nosy and wanna' poke your nose into everything! Then you'll trip and fall, and probably get eaten by a super-psychic rock, or something..." Vick waved a hand and trailed off, particularly sure that that could happen; at least, on this planet. The others just snickered as she said this.

"Yeah, you're a liabilty," agreed Vrilly. "Since your species is diurnal, you can't see very well in the dark, and she's probably trained for this kind of thing, since they said she's a soldier. Or something." She nodded towards the Almighty Tallest. They didn't answer, knowing full well that she was encoded as a Janitoral-drone; as that might have future implications of horribleness, once other things were revealed.

"That's true," stated Sploods, trying to give the impression that Vrilly was right.

"Though, 'Soldier' is generally just a form of address, especially to someone of lower rank," added Tallest Red, with a finger on his chin as if in thought. Tallest Purple felt like that didn't need to be said, but he didn't get the chance to tell him that.

"They're gone!" Exclaimed Dib with a bit of a moan.

"Why'd you want to go so bad in the first place?" Asked Vick.

"Well..." thought Dib, then he said the exact thing that she and Nessie had been thinking it was, "I wanted to see what this place looked like at night!" They both moaned, and then Lasch-mik and Lard-nar giggled.

"What?!" Asked Nessie, slightly annoyed at being left out of the joke.

"He's just like Poopopsy!" Snickered Lasch-mik.

"You're right!" Laughed Lard-nar. "He's _exactly_ like him!"

"Who's Poopopsy? Wait, is he one of your brothers?" Asked Shloonktapooxis, whom the author had briefly forgotten about. So sorry, especially because he's one of my favorites~!

"One of my many siblings, yes," replied Lard-nar the a wave of a finger. "...Although, some of them died in lab-accidents...and that whole, 'uprising' thing in the new prisons...and the catwalk incident...!"

Lasch-mik then proceeded to smack him for reminding her about it. "What have I told you?!" Lard-nar ducked his head and apologized for that. "As you can see, we Vortians need to reproduce quickly for a reason...!"

"_Hence_ the Electro-uterine Trees, which grow wormlins approximately 85.23 times faster than a normal Uterine Tree." Added Lard-nar, just in case Dib or the others had wanted an answer to that. They hadn't; Dib wasn't listening, as he was currently wondering why in the heck Tak was mad at him, and the others just didn't care.

"You don't need to say 'approximately' when you state the decimal points," commented his mother once again. Lard-nar just sighed and refrained from saying that it was out of habit. He pouted and turned away, all that more interested in a bunch of rocks outside the edge of the fire.

"Man, why'd I have to be stuck back here?" Mumbled Dib to himself. He sat down on a nearby rock and ignored the rest as he muttered. "Tak is mad at me, and I'm bored...she'd probably just yell if I was with them, anyways... *Sigh* If at least my _cousins_ were here, then that'd be something!"

He smirked as he reminded himself of those fun times, hopping the fourth dimension from an explosion in Zim's lab, annoyingly being dragged into an evening parkour excursion, among other stuff. He snickered as he remembered Chewie and Pookie annoying Mr. Campion with all those questions. He didn't even have to open his mouth for them! They'd done it _for_ him!

_(A/N: Score one for a mention of fun British detective shows, like Campion!)_

"What's wrong with him?" Asked Agent Nessie. Dib's usually-inquisitive head was silent and rather pensive all of the sudden. And then he'd started laughing!

"I want to know what's the joke!" Shlooktapooxis said with excitement.

"Yeah...sudden, mysterious laughing is not normally a good sign..." Mumbled Ploopoh. Everyone stared at Dib, who was staring out at the edge of the campsite, giggling.

"Anyone wanna' go check and see what his head's made of?" Asked Sploods hopefully. The two Tallest concurred with a nod of their heads.

"That sounds like a mystery your 'Swollen Eyeballs' can solve!" Added Throbulator with a laugh.

"No one could possibly figure that one out!" Replied Nessie, leaning back with a stretch. Man! He wanted to go to bed, but it just wasn't happening tonight. Especially not when the sky wasn't covered in clouds... It was just bright enough to see, but not as bright as the cloudy day-time sky.

"Well, it's not as if we haven't been trying," replied Vick with a smirk.

"Okay, I'll go and check," replied Ploopoh. Dib apparently hadn't heard this little exchange, and continued in his own little world. Ploopoh walked over to him.

"Well, there's nothing on the back side..." Stated Ploopoh, causing Dib to practically jump out of his skin in fright.

"WHAHHH!" He exclaimed. "Wh-WHAT ARE YOU DOING, sneaking up BEHIND ME like that!?"

"We were just curious as to why you were giggling insanely all by yourself~!" Replied Ploopoh with a slight bit of a grin. Just a slight one.

"Well, yeeesh! It's not as if I'd have to be _insane_ to giggle to myself! I just missed my cousins...!" Replied Dib as he gasped for breath.

"Who?" Asked Vrilly, now interested as to who in the heck could make someone smile in a horrible situation like such as they were in right now.

"My cousins, Chewie, Pookie and Vannin! They're, uh, on my mom's side of the family," explained Dib, a bit sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. It's not like they were used to talking about their family to the public -his dad's popularity made that kind-of a bad thing to do too much of. "Anyways, they, uh, don't live on the same continent as we do, and so I don't really get to see them much. But, we spent some time together over the summer, and that was great!" He laughed some more. "Heh heh, goood tiiiimes...!"

"Oh, okay, well, that makes sense." Nodded Nessie in comprehension.

"Wait..your mom's side of the family? Wasn't your mother...sucked into a dimensional potal-experiment all those years ago?... What was her name again...?" Vick paused with a finger on her chin.

"Where's Topi when you need 'im?!" Mumbled Starky. The other aliens nodded at that. The humans didn't quite pay attention to this as they focused on their own conversation. Dib had walked over to sit down by them, and they continued conversing, almost as if they were in their own little world...horrible pun to make with aliens and alien worlds, I know~! Hee hee hee!

"Yeah, an' Dad works himself silly trying to recreate the exact conditions to bring her back again." Dib said, not bothering to volunteer his mother's name; since learning the reason for their secrecy, he'd decided that mentioning his link to a monster family was not the best of ideas... Although, could it really cause problems this far away from home?! He wondered this as Agent Nessie continued his conversation.

"Heh, I know: those I-D P-T experiments never quite end up like they're supposed to...!" Nessie tried to laugh, a bit nervously, but couldn't quite seem to do it. Talking about this subject was already in major Awkward Land, not to mention that there were several aliens listening in on it!

"Ten scientists and counting," nodded Dib with a slight bit of a smirk. "Everyone has to sign a waiver to work on it!" The other two just nodded and smirked nervously at that. Apparently he wasn't nervous about the subject; but that didn't mean that they weren't! The aliens, of course, weren't nervous about it at all.

"Well, it's not as if he can get around to EVERY planet that does dimensional experiments!" Lard-nar was mentioning.

"Well, yeah~! But, why not? I mean, why doesn't he at least recruit some other people or something?!" Lasch-mik was shouting in annoyance. The others who were listening in just nodded in agreement. "I mean, it's a lot better, and he'd get a lot more done, when you think about it!"

"Sure, but Topi's always emphasised that he doesn't want anyone else to suffer the same fate he does," stated Sploods reasonably. The Almighty Tallest nodded at this. "So he just leaves it at that. Well, maybe no one else really could survive without a miracle!..." He was saying, just as Dib's head perked up at their alternate conversation.

"Hey! What are you guys talking about?!" Dib exclaimed, his head whipping around. The term "miracle" and the words "dimensional experiments" seemed to have caught his attention; in more ways than one! And he was curious to see whether or not any aliens had had the same, or even similar, experiences with dimensional-transferrence as he had.

The aliens seemed like they were caught red-handed as they paused, wondering whether they should mention it. Then Lard-nar spoke up and ruined it. "Dimensional experiments; the same as you!" Sploods hit him -not hard- and then sighed before speaking.

"There's an Irken who can travel through dimensions, called 'Topi'. He was also stuck there during an ancient dimensional experiment. Anyways, he usually tries to stop various peoples from performing any dimensional experiments because of what happened to him. Well, obviously he hasn't made it around to your planet, yet."

"AND he helps people out!" Added Ploopoh, with a finger in the air.

"Yeah, that guy's cool!" Agreed Shloonktapooxis, with a smile and his tongue hanging out.

"An Inter-dimensional Traveller?!" Asked Vick skeptically.

"AND he can help people out!?" Exclaimed Dib in shock. "Wow! That's amazing! HEY! Maybe, we can use that same dimensional-transferrence trick to contact him and maybe even get him to help my mom!"

Everyone just stared at him in surprise.

"...Mmm...what?" Asked Vrilly.

"I agree..." Added Agent Nessie.

"What the heck?!" Vick added her two-cents in.

"*Sigh* Well, it's really quite simple: you see, when an object has a particular...attachment...with a person, or, rather, they have an attachment to that object, it can create a bridge which spans a dimensional plane. That's something I experienced first-hand, and I think that it's also one of those reasons why people and places can be haunted by ghosts! Anyways, when I was-" Dib's comment was interrupted before he could spill any unnecessary beans which might've advanced things before anyone else was ready!

"Woah, woah, wait a minute!..." Said Vick, "We know what it IS, what we want to know is HOW COME you sound so FAMILIAR WITH IT!"

"*Sigh*!" Dib said, once again exhausperated that no one was listening. He grit his teeth, "Al_right_, allow me to start at the beginning...!" Once he was sure that he had everyone's attention, he then said, "I managed to talk with my mom this one time, when I was-" He was thankfully interrupted again, this time by Agent Nessie.

"You mean you actually SPOKE with Professor Gazira!?" He exclaimed, having finally remembered her name. Dib stared at him, wishing that people would shut up while he was explaining things; and also hoping that stating her name wouldn't cause all kinds of horrifying things to happen to them.

"YES!... Now, _please_!" Dib started, but he was interrupted once again.

"Woah, woah, she was still alive?! How?! I mean, are you sure she wasn't just a ghost?!" Asked Vick skeptically. Dib pouted and waited as if he expected more comments, but none came.

"As I was SAYING!" He shouted, "I don't KNOW HOW she was alive, but believe me, I KNOW what ghosts feel like, and she was NOT a ghost!"

"How could you be sure? I mean, what if that's what you wanted to believe?!" Stated Nessie, for once even taking Vick's side.

"BECAUSE! If she was a ghost, then I'd probably have HAD STINKIN' ICE DREAMS! OKAY!?" Shouted Dib. "HEY,_ BELIEVE_ ME, WHEN A GHOST ENTERS YOUR MIND, IT'S _COLD_, ALRIGHT!?"

"Alright, alRIGHT! Sheesh!" Said Vick, waving her hands, "Just calm down! It's not like we know anything about this; we just wanted some answers!"

"Then you could've LET ME FINISH TELLING YOU ABOUT IT!" Stated Dib plainly. "Sheesh! It's always like this! Why doesn't anyone ever let me SPEAK!?"

"Because, your orative abilities are lacking, and your tone is sort-of monotone," replied Ploopoh helpfully.

"You also come off as an over-excited little kid," added Lasch-mik. Lard-nar looked at her skeptically.

"What, he IS an over-excited little kid!" The others laughed.

"Alright, PSHFINE! I'm not a professional speaker! AND I actually happen to LIKE what I'm TALKING ABOUT! So what?!" Replied Dib, waving a hand around. "I mean, what does _that_ have to do with why people don't listen?!"

"Wow, you _really_ fail at social-skills, don't you?" Vick pointed out, both literally and figuratively.

"Well, not that lack of social-skills ever stopped anyone else from making themselves heard," added Nessie with a finger on his chin. "But, uhhh...yeah; most people don't view a little kid pointing out unusual things and shouting as someone with a good reason to point and shout at something."

"...Riiight... Well, the minute they start making something like, 'Social Viridity School' mandatory, I'm sure everyone will have no good reason _not_ to listen to me-" started Dib, then, he held up a finger and added, "Because it's _obviously_ really _rude_ to interrupt someone when they're speaking, just to ask a lot of questions that they were going to explain to you during their speech!" _(A/N: More Ranklechick references that you can shake a stick at!)_

Some of the aliens snickered and Ploopoh said, "Well, he's got you!"

"Oooh, BURN!" Exclaimed Shloonktapooxis jovially.

"Hee hee hee, this is funny," mentioned Tallest Purple, "It almost makes up for the lack of snacks and stuff, you know?" He turned to the other Tallest and smiled at him.

The other Tallest knew an attempt to make him angry when he saw one...and promptly obliged. "That's not a good thing!" Then he whispered, "You know, I'm seriously starting to wish...that thing...again."

"Oh, come on~!" Replied Tallest Purple with a slight grin, "You eventually got your own clothes and stuff back~!" His nonsensical reply was loud enough for others to look over with some slight amusement at that. Tallest Red just frowned and snarled at him. That wasn't what he'd meant.

"Alright, THAT'S IT!" He shouted, punching the other Tallest. Tallest purple just laughed and laughed as he dodged and punched back at him. It was like his favorite type of entertainment, and his boredom had just unleashed a spirited, immature smeet from within his armored PAK.

"Well...!" Stated Lasch-mik, unamusedly, as they watched the leaders of an intergalactic empire beat each other up just for sheer lack of other things to occupy their minds.

"That's just weird..." added Lard-nar.

"Do they always do that?" Asked Starky to Sploods with concern. "'Cause that's like the second time they've done that."

"*Sigh* Yes. Almost always: when there's nothing any better to do, or snacks to enjoy." Sploods explained as he hung his head. Then he thought about it and mumbled under his breath, "It's almost always Tallest Purple who initiates it...!" Ploopoh heard this, and was about to comment on it, but then he heard someone else speak up, and promptly logged it away for a later time to talk about.

"When will Tak get back?..." Asked Clasps as she glanced off into the jungle worriedly. Everyone else's eyes followed her gaze.

"Well, whenever she does, let's hope she's in a better mood," mumbled Dib, barely audible to anyone except Nessie and Vick, whom he was sitting beside. Vick almost snickered; but she managed to control her mirth and think about sobering thoughts whilest everyone else mused...

* * *

END CHAPTER 2

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Aaand we're continuing on the Author's notes! *Laughs* Say cheese! You're on...NOT-so-Candid Camera!

The made-up species were fun to make! Actually, only THREE are really shown in the series, which I'll have a picture of up on my DA page as well...! Sos, go ahead and check it out! Just click on my profile, and click the DA linky, and they should be in my gallery! (You wouldn't _believe_ how lazy people get online, and this stinkin' site makes it IMPOSSIBLE to direct such lazy peoples to the ARTWORK! *Sighs*)

I really believe that the happy, friendly, Huffer-haut species (that Vrilly is one of) is my absolute FAVORITE, but I may be wrong~!

The blob-woman...well, her idea WAS taken from Eric the blob, but she's a DIFFERENT kind of blob-species, totally different planet and everything! Sos...yeah! The only thing that I got from the show on that was the idea! (I mean, _seriously_? Not that inventive, blob-people...!)

But what I really enjoyed was the embarrassing alien biology and stories! *Laughs* I always hated it when other girls had their "Period Chats"... Wells, now we can all re-live the embarrassment: this time, with ALIEN FEMALES' BIOLOGY! Oooh! I should think up some more stuff for the others, right?! *Runs off* I'M OFF TO EMBARRASS THE MALES AND TARKY~! TALLY-HOOOOOOOOO!


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